Tight-Rope Walkers

On clear days when the weather is nice in the spring and fall, there will occasionally be groups of four or five people various places on campus, gathered around cords that have been strung between two trees. Some locate themselves in the Quad, others in other areas in which there is a reachable distance between any two trees. The cord, I assume, is some kind of durable, elastic material that can withstand pressure and stress (I don't know what it is, but it looks sturdy).

The cord is strung only a few feet above the ground. They take turns stepping up onto the line and balancing; there is a little bit of a pause as they (presumably) test the rope, wiggling it back and forth with their bare feet, and then they step up. They hover for a moment, trying to keep their balance, and then either step down to solid ground or try to step forward.

Though on the rope they are only a foot or two off the ground, I get nervous thinking about if I were to ever try to walk the rope. I can only make it to the second step of a ladder, and can't peek too far over railings to look at the ground below. Thoughts about all the bad things that could happen--spraining something if I fall off, humiliation, [insert disaster here]--fill up the left-over brain space in my head. I don't think I'd have the physical ability to propel myself up to balance on the single line of cord, let alone stay up there. It would take a huge amount of courage and self-trust to be able to stay up there.

In junior high P.E., we spent an entire class period doing trust falls and related activities. I remember this day very vividly, because it was one of the worst days I ever had in P.E.. I remember crying and crying and crying because I had no desire to fall backward into the unknown (it didn't help that they had us climb up a few of the steps of the folded-up bleachers to fall from a higher point). Why couldn't I just metaphorically trust others without having to risk injury to prove it?

To this day, I still don't quite understand what the lesson was that day. I mean, I understand much more than I did then: trust should be something you have in any situation. But did they mean in others? Or did they mean in oneself? What was it they were trying to instill in me, the one who cried herself dry because she was afraid of heights and unwilling to believe that her group members would catch her? What was I supposed to put my trust in?

Today, when I saw a group of the tight-rope walkers, I thought about that day. Trust comes in many forms. Though I'm still unsure of many things, I know I understand that fact. In this case, one must trust that this single line is enough to withstand your weight, your body, and your expectations--even for the briefest of moments.

If I were a bolder person, I would try it. And, perhaps, one day I will. I think about it whenever I see them at it, though. What would it feel like, suspended on air, with seemingly nothing below your feet but space and a moment? That line would not break. Then, what?

Yay/Nay of Glee, 02x17, "A Night of Neglect"

This week's Glee was not my favorite, but it was still pretty decent. I liked it. A lot. I felt it was a little lighter on everything, but, like the Superbowl episode, there has to be some kind of buffer--or at least there has to be some fun stuff mixed in with the epic and heavy (something that's needed or we'd all go crazy--see the state of Vampire Diaries right now...but this is not the time or place for a discussion about that).

On to the Yay/Nay.

Yay: The Scholastic Decathlon (mini) storyline. This was great. I love that Glee allows us to see the glee kids outside the choir room once and awhile. Brittany as their secret weapon? The groups special handshake? Good on ya, mate. (Sidenote: Mike's dance = JOY). :D 

Nay: Was it just me, or did there seem to be some jumpiness to the flow of the episode? Maybe I'm a sucker for play-by-play storyline, but there were a few moments I felt were rushed. Perhaps I just imagined it. Anyhoo, these moments were fewer than three, so I'm not too concerned. 

Yay: The Legion of Doom. I think Sandy's Pink Dagger outfit was the best surprise since Finn's Gaga outfit in Season 1. Perhaps not as epic as the shower-curtain dress, but just as funny/awesome.

Yay: ...Which leads me to the cliff-hanger with Terri. Nicely played, Glee. Sneaky. 

Nay: Holly Holiday was, as always, awesome in this episode, but I missed the super fun side she had in "Sexy". It was nice, however, to see Holly serious. Again, this episode gave a really nice balance to everything.

Nay: It makes me sad when we don't get to see a lot of Kurt in an episode. That's just me, though. Kurt's my favorite character. 

Yay: ...but I LOVED the scene where Kurt is showing Blaine the school, and Blaine notices Kurt's homesickness for McKinley, and then Karofsky shows up, and then SANTANA IS BADASS. 

Yay: Santana was AWESOME this week. 

Yay: Mercedes' tribute to Aretha Franklin was fabulous. She rocks. Also, I loved how she and Lauren teamed up (and the final talk Mercedes has with Rachel). AWESOME.  (She's also one of my favorites. She needs more story....)

Yay: The Night of Neglect was freakin' cool. Don't let the hecklers get you down, New Directions. They're just jealous. 

There's a lot more to this episode, but those above are the things that stuck out the most to me. I think it was nice to see this episode a little lighter since the previous two--"Sexy" and "Original Song"--were both very bold and heavy with awesomeness and character development and storyline. Next week, too, looks pretty important in terms of 1) awesomeness, 2) storyline, 3) general bad-ass-ery 4) etc. This episode, I think, does a really nice job providing something a little different, but also allowing for a breather. 

I'm really excited for next week's episode. Plus, according to the promo, KURT'S BACK AT WMHS!! Oh frapjous day!!! That should be Blaine's cue to follow. :)

Thought Box on "The Perks of Being a Wallflower"

Review/Thought Box for: The Perks of Being a Wallflower 

by Stephen Chbosky 

I don't really get a lot of time for fun reading during the semester, so I feel very lucky to have actually finished a book (especially since the last one I read was read in January....). Perks, especially, was one that I had a hard time putting down; so when I allowed myself some down time last weekend, I finished the last half of the novel in one sitting. And it was worth it. 

There is so much to Charlie's story, much more than I had ever expected. Through his letters to an anonymous recipient, we see his perceptions of some really heavy issues. I was overcome with the way in which Charlie would relay the events of the novel. He gives an explanation of what happened, then talks about something else, or describes a memory from his childhood--related or no--leaving the resulting emotions to float above the page, allowing the reader to absorb them and almost...experience them as he does. Sometimes, he is so overcome with emotion that he is not able to bring himself to talk about the event or even certain details of a memory. He gives the information that is necessary to understand, and honestly, it is all one needs to know. 

These moments are truly powerful; Charlie's character voice is painfully honest, and as a reader, one is caught up in every story, every emotion he feels as he "participates." He doesn't gloss over anything. He gives the reader the truth, without shame--and I feel that this is one of the strongest aspects of the novel. I loved how I was able to fill in information without it being given to me word for word. It takes a great deal of care and skill to be able to pull that off, and I think Chbosky is a master. 

Charlie feels everything purely. One of my favorite parts of the book, from pages 38-39 (the end of part one): 

Anyway, Patrick started driving really fast, and just before we got to the tunnel, Sam stood up, and the wind turned her dress into ocean waves. When we hit the tunnel, all the sound got scooped up into a vacuum, and it was replaced by a song on the tape player. A beautiful song called "Landslide." When we got out of the tunnel, Sam screamed this really fun scream, and there it was. Downtown. Lights on buildings and everything that makes you wonder. Sam sat down and started laughing. Patrick started laughing. I started laughing.

And in that moment, I swear we were infinite. 

I love every one of these big moments, ranging from depictions of his evenings spent with the group watching Rocky Horror, to their parties, or events at school. Even the smaller moments are beautiful.

This may sound strange, but whenever I read a book, I feel like I was meant to read it at that very moment, that either before or after that time, I'm not meant for it. This is one of those cases. There's something about our understanding of the world, the way and time we take to make connections between the things that happen in our lives, that when we make those connections, it is both overwhelming and exhilarating. After being in Pittsburgh over Spring Break, and having thought about my own experiences from high school, and realizing that I'm finally starting to understand myself and who I am, this book was exactly what I needed. As Perks demonstrates, life is much more complex than we can ever fully understand--and by participating, as Bill encourages Charlie to do, we are able to make sense, however small, of what it means to be us. Our issues, both external and internal, simultaneously come together and break apart, and in these defining moments (very much like the one described above) we know something more than we did before, even if our understanding is still very slight. 

Charlie has his share of family problems. He has to deal with the deaths of important people in his life. He encounters complicated issues many teens face. He has great friends in Patrick and Sam--who are awesome, by the way, as imperfect and flawed as they are--who introduce him to many people and many new things. Charlie's story is beautiful. This is an important book, not only for teens, but everyone.

Under Pressure

I recently purchased a movie called It's Kind of a Funny Story, a film that came out last fall; I had not seen it previous because it never made it to the theater in town. Despite this, I figured I had good reason to buy it because: a) it's a Focus Features film, and I have never yet been disappointed with any of their films, and b) the movie is based on the excellent book of the same name by Ned Vizzini, and I couldn't fathom it being a bad movie (even if it ended up not being a good one, either).

Much to my excitement, the film is wonderful. It captures Craig's spirit in so many awesome ways, and really does justice to the original source material. I feel that they really tried to get creative with the way they filmed it, unafraid to try something a little different or be a little silly. There is an incredible amount of humor in the film--and it's not in any way disrespectful to the setting or the issues addressed in the story. It was the book brought to life, and boy, is it good.

I could go on about the movie all day because I love it so much, but I just wanted to talk about one particular part that surprised and pleased me to no end. During one of the sessions Craig attends as part of his stay in the psychiatric ward, he is encouraged to get up and take on the main singing part in the group's effort to play Queen and David Bowie's "Under Pressure". It is--pardon the language--Kick. Ass. Not only is it pleasantly unexpected and delightfully entertaining, but it also reflects Craig's journey as he finds his way through his problems. It may seem strange out of context of the film, but rest assured, it fits perfectly with the rest of the story.

Granted, Craig connects more directly to the brainmaps he returns to later, but I feel that this is one of those defining moments for his character in the film. It's a small step toward conquering his issues.

Plus, as Olive Pendergast of Easy A would put it, it doesn't hurt to have an awesome musical number for no apparent reason.

Mood Music

I have the tendency to skip most of the songs on my iPod playlist most days. I'm not sure why; I love the songs I choose, but sometimes I get tired of listening to them all the time. My playlist changes every month or so because I fear I'm going to get so sick of hearing them over and over. 

I changed up my playlist again last week, and for two days, I felt that I skipped through more songs than I listened to. Today, though, I was in a music mood. This morning after work--after having it on the entire three hour shift--I turned on my iPod and let it play as I waited two hours for my next class. I just let it play. Then after my studio assistant time block, I put it in and played away until....the battery died. 

That's another thing. My iPod needs to be charged more often. It was torture walking back up the hill after class without my music. 

Chicken Soup for the Soul

I am a firm believer in Pick-Me-Ups. I don't think I would be able to function without them. They are the kind of things that are both freeing and stable enough for me to keep a hold of as things swing a little off-course. Harry Potter, a good book, anything by Sarah Dessen, Glee, old-school Disney, 80s movies...anything that will distract me from real-life for awhile.

This past weekend was one of those pick-me-ups. Brandi and Traci came to visit, and for two days, I was able to forget the fact I haven't had much sleep, or that I'm behind in Prints, or that emotional stresses are proving to test my motivation. 

Last night, before going to the bars, we hung out at a friend of Traci's house. We sat on the screen porch overlooking their backyard, just talking and drinking, playing Washers and that frisbee-and-bottle-on-a-pole game. Brandi, Traci, and their friend Morgan shared stories from old roommates, strange acquaintances, and past drinking experiences. Brandi and I reminisced about our favorite memories from the Little Apple, and talked about everything that had been going on since the last time we'd seen each other. I can't seem to explain the feeling of peace I felt, sitting there relaxing with friends, and later, dancing the night away with the three of them, without a care in the world, even if only for a few hours. 

Exciting things always happen when Brandi and Traci are here. Perhaps it's because I didn't get out much in high school...but I genuinely love hanging out with them. There are no set plans, we always have a good time, and it's always a little different than the last. Mostly, though, and more importantly, is that they are good people, and it doesn't matter what we do, because they are some of my best friends. Just being is enough to forget about a lousy day, to talk through the things that are getting us down, or to immerse ourselves in the stories we tell. These are the moments I look forward to, and I cherish every one of them. 

Pretty Lights and High Tech Gadgets

Alisha, Emma, and I went to see Tron: Legacy earlier this evening. It had been my idea, and Alisha had gone along with it only because I had suggested it. Emma is into "shiny" things and such, so she went to be visually entertained. I'm a movie trailer kind of person, so I was interested in it because the trailer was good. Plus, the admission charge was only $1, and we figured it would be worth the dollar if it was good, and if it was bad...well, it did only cost a dollar.

Honestly, I wasn't expecting much. I figured it was likely to be one of those films that are only made because they distract your eyes so you can think about other things. There probably wouldn't be much of a plot, but I was okay with that. It looked pretty, so that would hopefully make up for the possible lack of intellectual value.

But what we discovered as soon as Sam Flynn reaches the Grid was that it had a little more meat to it than just a recycled storyline and things exploding. There was an interesting--albeit subtle--play between this perfect-universe gone rotten and the utopian idea that existed long before it in the mind of the original Flynn. Granted, it wasn't the most original idea, but it carried it out fairly well in comparison to our expectations.

Flynn and Clu's relationship reminded me strongly of "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde", save for the fact that Flynn didn't realize the implications of creating a half of himself when he did so--that this other side of him would misconstrue the truth of the mission. My favorite part of the movie is the last chunk before the credits, starting with Sam and Flynn's discussion of how much the world has changed since Flynn's disappearance. So much about the human condition was stated in the dialogue without the characters outlining it word for word. The question of whether this perfection is easily attainable in the way we intend it to be or not is one of the strongest aspects of this movie, and I have high praise for Disney for this very reason.

Michael Sheen and the 80s vibes were also pretty awesome. (And that's never a bad thing.)

It's not the best movie I've ever seen, but it certainly gets points for being what it was.