Home Again

My weekends at home are much too short, and I have noticed each visit seems to get shorter and shorter.

Anyway.

Fall is my favorite season. There is a small maple tree in the yard, and one of the best things about fall is watching its leaves turn from green to yellow and orange to a rich red-orange. I missed the turning this year; most of the leaves have fallen from the branches, and the red-orange on most of the remaining leaves has faded to a gorgeous burnt orange color.

I missed homecoming for the first time in years this year, and I can't decide whether I'm upset or not. At the moment, it's an ache that I can't really put my finger on. I love homecoming; it was and will forever be part of my favorite memories of growing up in my hometown.

Heidi's birthday is this coming week, so my family and I have been having a sort of mini-celebration for her. She's been home since last Monday for her fall break. After the having survived this horrible week, I wish I'd been able to have my fall break at the same time.

As is the tradition for being home, we've watched a Harry Potter movie (two this time around, both Prisoner of Azkaban and Order of the Phoenix on Heidi's request as she is the Birthday Girl). Heidi and I went to see the Footloose remake last night at the Astro 3, and despite the fact that there was a country remake of the title song during the last scene of the movie, we were both pleased and genuinely entertained. It was very good, and I'd definitely see it again.

After the movie, Heidi and I went cruising to talk and listen to music. Conversation is a beautiful thing, and those I have with Heidi are some of my most treasured.

I'm not looking forward to having to return to the Little Apple tomorrow; not that I hate it, because I don't. I just need more time here. I haven't been home much since the beginning of the year. In the last 24 hours alone, I've felt more calm, laughed more genuinely, and had more of a focus on life than I've had in ages. Thanksgiving break cannot come soon enough.

Little Known Fact #3

I am extremely self-concious about many things: my writing, my drawings, my "cartoon fingers" (as one of my best friends once affectionately called them), my social skills, etc. The thing I am most self-concious about, however, is my chubbiness and my weight.

When my grandparents (Dad's parents) were still alive and we would make our annual trip up to Michigan, there was one summer in which some local boys would come to the park just across the block from my grandparents' house and harass my sister and I. They yelled, "Chunk-EE, Chunky Soup!" at me. I had never met them before, and we were only ever in Michigan for a week or two each year.

There was at least one girl in my class in Junior High who consistently referred to me as "Heifer". Up until that time, I had been called "fat" or "fatso."

Almost every time I go shopping for clothes, some kind of disaster arises.

When I was in second grade, I really, really wanted to become a gymnast (as the Olympics were being held in Atlanta, GA that year). Mom had found a simple body suit-type thing that resembled a gymnastic unitard for me, and I was so thrilled to have something to practice my "sweet routines" in. I was so excited about this outfit that I put it on and ran down to our-neighbors'-down-the-block's house to show Audrey, the oldest girl of the family and the one I remember wanting to impress the most. She was sitting on the stoop of another neighbor's house with Amy, who was in high school. When I ran up to them, Audrey looked up at me, and burst out laughing.

"What?" I asked shyly, my face falling. "What's so funny?"

She doubled up even more, her blond ringlets framing her face. "Nothing--" she tried catching her breath--"The dog peed." I don't remember how Amy reacted. She seems to fade into the memory.

I think I knew in that moment that Audrey was lying.

When I walked into my boss's office earlier this evening to get a band-aid for my thumb, and stood there talking with her and one of my coworkers, my boss turned to me.

"Heather, you were doing so good on that diet you were on last year. You should get back on it. You were loosing all that weight..."

I clammed up and busied myself with trying to get the finger cot I'd pulled out of the first aid kit over the band-aid and the rest of my thumb.

"Is that a touchy subject?" she asked.

I sighed. "Yeah..."

She may not have meant it the way I took it. I don't know. My reaction, however, was truth: this single interchange and the little discussion that followed it made me want to curl up in a distant corner and cry.

A Few Brief Thoughts on Learning

The reading we were discussing in French Lit today included a couple essays from the French essayist Montaigne. The excerpts we had to read discussed the concept of death from Montaigne's point of view. Back at the beginning of the semester in my non-fiction class, we talked a little about Montaigne as one of the earliest essayists (in the traditional sense of non-fiction, anyway) in history. He's well known, and his writing is highly regarded.

When we talked about him in Adv. Non-Fiction, we discussed how the word "essay" derives from the French "essayer," which means "to try" or "to attempt". Essays, therefore, are one means for the writer to make an attempt to make sense of the world in relation to their own viewpoint; it can also be a kind of attempt to make a point (as in an essay supporting and promoting a certain argument).

Today, we talked a little about the origins of "essais," the French for essays. Again, "essayer" is the word from which it derives. 

For some reason, when my professor asked us what it meant in English, and we answered "to attempt," I had a moment of clarity. Essays are attempts. An attempt. I knew I made the connection back at the beginning of the semester, but it seemed to finally click, and the connection between these two things, French literature from the Renaissance and the art of writing non-fiction (essays in particular), solidified itself within my mind. True to the humanistic spirit of the Renaissance, Montaigne's essays explore and exemplify the idea of individual thought. 

I've been fascinated with the idea of coming to some sort of understanding through the act of writing, particularly how memory can assist with that in addition to the intriguing idea of a kind of fallible  memory. (This, of course, is thanks to the amazing Non-Fiction writing class I'm currently in.) Memoirs, for instance, are reflections upon an event or more that may be connected in some way. These reflections attempt to make sense of who we are as human beings, as individuals, as one small part of the collective human race. There is so much freedom in this: non-fiction (including the memoir) can be anything, explore anything. Montaigne is trying to come to an understanding of his own views on death in relation to the viewpoints from various philosophers of and before his time.

Understanding. Attempting to understand, to make these connections in what we know, what we remember, and what we may not know. 

I have random moments similar to this fairly often. I will be sitting in lecture, and something--or everything--will suddenly click. Perhaps there is an overlap, or even repetition in the information. Perhaps it is also an honest interest in what we're learning. I love those grand moments of understanding. Little by little, the world starts to make a bit more sense. Perhaps this is what my answers to the Sorting questions on Pottermore indicated when I was officially sorted into Ravenclaw.* Maybe, maybe not. 

I think it simply comes down to learning and how this (an many other kinds of learning) continues. Our minds, as well as our capacity and desire to gain knowledge, is an intriguing thing. 

*I explain more on this (and other thoughts on Pottermore) later; I'm still in shock. But a good kind of shot. It's hard to wrap my mind around it...

Quick Thoughts, Glee 3x03, "Asian F"

More later, I promise, once I can seriously sit down and write my yay/nays for the first three eps, but her are some quick thoughts until then...

Spoilers ahoy!

• Emma's parents and their "ginger supremacist" attitudes? OMG. 
• Mercedes: I can understand....to a certain extent. But her attitude and the way she's going about stuff? I'm undecided as of yet....but I think she needs to calm down and eat some fruit. 
• That being said, Amber Riley was INCREDIBLE this week. She's amazing. I got chills during "It's All Over". <3
• ...And I am STOKED that we're seeing Mercedes-centered storylines. *happy dance*
• RACHEL!!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYY?! *cries*
• Kurt and Blaine = tugging at my heartstrings and warm fuzzies every time.
• I LOVE LOVE LOVE how it was Kurt giving Blaine the flowers. 
• MIKECHANGMIKECHANGMIKECHANG. Why hasn't he gotten a solid storyline before now? He is quite the double threat. And that scene with his mother....
• THE RETURN OF VAMPIRE TINA!!!! :D 
• Coach Beiste. I think I love her more and more each time we see her. 
• Brittany. Oh my goodness, Brittany. 

Now back to homework. 

MTV Visits the Set of "Perks"

And there is a video. And interviews. And behind the scenes of graduation and a dance (homecoming?). Sam and Patrick? Amazing. I haven't seen the actor who plays Patrick in anything, but from just seeing this little bit as well as the interview, I love him as Patrick already. "Come On Eileen". And LOGAN FREAKIN' LERMAN. The cast so far seems so perfect. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS MOVIE.

Many, many warm fuzzies. And excitement. And love. It's going to be incredible. <3

(Thanks to The Leaky Cauldron for the heads up!)

Banned Books Week Goodness

Happy Banned Books Week! I always look forward to BBW; I get warm fuzzies around this time of year, not only because of our freedom to read but in the sheer amount of books and stories that we have at our fingertips. It's such a wonderful thing, to have the right to choose. And really, that's what this week is about. We can make the decision for ourselves.

First, FYA continues to promote awesome by poking fun at censorship. I love them so much. They are amazing. Also, this from The Literary Snob (who also reblogged this amazing post earlier this week).

Throughout the week, there have been readings and panels and other such awesomeness celebrating reading. I read from The Perks of Being a Wallflower at the Union earlier this week (the scene when Sam is up in the truck bed as they're going through the Fort Pitt Tunnel, my favorite part).

The ALA has posted many lists of challenged and banned books, including those most frequently challenged in the '90s, the 2000s, as well as by year (here's the list for 2010). If you're interested, poke around a bit. They have some really great resources and bits of information.

My Top Five Favorite Banned/Challenged Books

1. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson: This was one of the first books I fell for once I came to the realization of how awesome reading was (and more than just a means to get A.R. points). 
2. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
3. The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling: <3
4. To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
5. Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison: ...and the rest of the series that followed this amazing and hilarious novel.

There are more, as always. Reading is wonderful. <3 What are your favorites?

Brittany's New Duds

So this picture, along with a couple other new images from next week's episode, popped up on Glee Fans Live yesterday, if I remember correctly. 

Oh. My. Word. DYING. I have no idea what the context of this scene is, but I CANNOT WAIT to find out. (I'll have the Yay/Nay up for this weeks episode as soon as I can; I just need to sit down to write it. It was amazing though...season 3 is going to RULE.) <3

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