The Weekend Before Dead Week

I'm tired. I'm annoyed that I feel like I've learned very little in my art history class because of the online lectures--a structure I don't do well with. I want to write more nonfiction but I have to wait until I have other things finished first. I feel like my French Lit teacher thinks I'm an idiot because I have a hard time speaking in French (I don't have time to think it out in my head), even though he probably doesn't. I have a lot of drawing stuff to do before Wednesday and because I don't have any kind of studio space in which to work, I'm having a hard time motivating myself to do anything at the house because I have to work in the dining room and there's TV and my roommates are usually here...

I've discovered as time goes on that I feel very uncomfortable with other people in the room when I'm drawing. It's like someone reading over your shoulder. I can feel the eyes on the drawing.

I've always had that discomfort, though. I'm fine in studio classes when we're drawing as a group until someone comes to walk around to see what everyone else is doing--that's when I get nervous and I feel my arm--and the mark-making--become really stiff. When I make rounds, I can't stand in one place too long because I don't want to do that to anyone else.

Perhaps all the time I spent holed up at home in my room in high school turned me off to any sort of ability to handle any normal social interaction. My extreme lack of confidence with drawing doesn't help, either.

But enough worrying and stressing. Linkage of interest:

First, this beautiful, wonderful ad.

Second, this video celebrating the awesomeness of free speech with quite a few awesome authors (including Sarah Dessen and John Green *cue major fangirling*).

Things I Need to Do Before Christmas:

• finish my Christmas shopping
• make serious headway in my Nano novel, considering I haven't touched it in a month
• clean the Tiny Blue Room, because everything's pell mell at this point
• reread The Outsiders (which I've been meaning to do for a long time)
• finish the last few things of schoolwork I need to do before the end of the semester on the 16th
• do some hardcore studying for my French final
• get my hair cut (or something...)

Two more weeks. I have to keep reminding myself that there's only two weeks left.