Transitioning: Yay/Nay for Glee 4x03, "Makeover"

Blaine is doing a Rachel. It's fitting, since he was deemed as the New Rachel by Artie two episodes ago. He's decided to join all the clubs and do all the things, but instead of it being for yearbook-related reasons like we saw with Rachel's quest for photographic 'immortality' in season 1, he's trying to keep himself busy and distracted from his loneliness. Everything he does, as he realizes by the time he's secured the student council presidency, is for Kurt, who isn't there to experience it with him.

Kurt, finally, has gotten something he's worked hard for: the internship at Vogue.com. And he's amazing at it (which we all knew beforehand, but Isabelle is discovering). He's come to the right place. Burt and Blaine knew it all along.

Meanwhile, Rachel's still molding her new self, step by step. First, it was attitude. Then, it was confidence (her attempts at being sexy, followed by the inevitable marking out of Finn's name). Now, it's her outward appearance. Like he did before, Kurt leads the makeover, which is successful. Gone are the days of the reindeer sweater. Rachel admits to liking her new self. Everyone rejoices.

Brody's right in that Rachel's makeover is from the inside out. He's definitely a voice of reason for the New York Rachel.

Brittany's still looking for her groove. Sam might be, too, though I'm not sure what exactly he's looking for.

There seems to be a pattern.

I totally agree with Leaky News that this is a transitional/set-up episode. (And from what I've heard about 4x04, it's going to be full of Big Stuff*, so it's good there's a lot of set up this week.) It's a solid episode, even without a lot of emotional upheavals or complications. Also, can we talk about how awesome the music is this season?!

Quick links of interest for this episode:

• Two really interesting things from Kurtcountertenor, one of my fave Glee tumblrs: Sam, Blaine, and a bowtie, and Kurt's infamous brooch. 
• Deconstructing Glee and thoughts on Blaine's makeover, as well as everyone else's. (See also: This thing about flying, with Kurtcountertenor's additions.) 
• A post from Letters from Titan about Cassandra and Isabelle (but mostly Kurt) that blows my mind.

With that, on to the Yay/Nay.

Yay: The look Blaine gives the two superhero sidekicks who are battling one another. So perfect.

Yay: How is it that we've gone this long without a Blaine voiceover?! Paired with an amazing version of one of my favorite '80s songs...PERFECTION. *cries happy tears*

Yay: Kurt and Blaine sharing popcorn through Skype. It was cute and probably one of the most ingenious surprises this episode.

Yay: I AM SO HAPPY THAT KURT GOT THE INTERNSHIP. My heart swelled a bit. No joke. I'm also really interested in his answer for the "Where do you see yourself in 5 years" question.... Isabelle's very right in encouraging Kurt as a dreamer.

Yay: I really missed Brittany and Artie interacting. I couldn't stop laughing about the robot thing.

Nay: The Schuest-ometer was high this week. Mr. Schue, as always, was all over the place. I think I might have done a fist pump when Jake brought up the fact they should be preparing for Sectionals. Why doesn't he actually let the students put something together since he's run out of ideas?

Yay: Everyone's reactions to Blaine's claim that the election wasn't a popularity contest. If what he said was true, then Kurt would have won last year. OF COURSE IT'S A POPULARITY CONTEST. It's high school, for crying out loud. (Is this a Dalton-esque mentality?) As much as I wish he was right...

Nay(ish)?: Sam and Brittany's budding friendship. I like it, but I don't quite get it yet...is that weird?

Yay: Have I mentioned how much I love Sam's impressions?

Yay: Brittany knows what she's doing. And Artie is totally right about her.

Yay: "Celebrity Skin" was AWESOME.

Yay: I really like Isabelle. What a difference from Cassandra, though. (This is a good thing.)

Yay: Stoner Brett needs to be in ND for the sole reason of his awesomeness.

Yay: Hummelberry breaking into various New York establishments for good reasons (and doing it the in-the-middle-of-the-night college way). The video they made with Isabelle was lovely.

Yay: All of the character stuff for Blaine and set up for the inevitable angst between him and Kurt. Holy canoli. My heart hurt for both the entire episode. The second time we see Kurt and Blaine skype is heart-wrenching but so well-handled.

Yay: The Rachel/Brody NY montage. Brody is still honorable this week. And I love that he admitted to being a fan of Ace of Base (me too!).

Yay: I really like how the Skype chats are functioning thus far. It's a nice tie between Ohio and everywhere else. On a grander scale, the more I see the balance between the Lima and New York settings, the more I like it. It's still working for me (and it reminds me of the way Dalton was handled back in season 2). We'll see how things go as the season progresses.

Nay: Are we ever going to see Tina this season? All we've had is the short-lived Snotty Version, and that was two episodes ago.

Yay: The debate was the funniest sequence in the entire episode. It was the perfect combination of Sue, Artie, Brittany, Sam, Blaine, and Stoner Brett that sealed it for me. This also goes for the bit where Becky is not in the mood for a xylophone flourish.

Yay: Blaine: "...Telling anyone what they can or cannot put into their hair is disgusting. It's the first step towards tyranny, my friends. Next thing you know, they'll start burning books. And then they'll probably start burning people, too." Brittany: "That's a lie." BEST.

Yay: I love that Rachel wanted to cook for Brody, and I LOVED the stories they share over dinner.

Interesting: Even with all the reinvention, Rachel is still trying to keep "[her] machine well-oiled" and her performance on form. Immediate flashback to her morning routine in season one...Also interesting to note is that Brody does the same thing.

Yay: The Blaine/Sam friendship could be interesting.

Finn arrives just as the episode is closing, the signal that the dreaded 4x04 is upon us. And so it begins.



*I'm going to be very thankful when 4x04 airs, because I feel the stress about it is starting to wear on my poor heart. Sigh.

Two Things: "Perks" and "The Casual Vacancy"

I know I haven't mentioned it in awhile, but I've been obsessively awaiting the Perks of Being a Wallflower movie. According to the official FB page, the movie opens in wide release on October 5, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will be at the local theater. I was asked to write a blog post over on WORDY by Nature, the Sigma Tau Delta blog, about the movie. The first part is up, and I gush a whole bunch about it. The second part will be a review, once I've had the chance to see it. Check it out if you're interested. The Sigma blog is awesome, so at least poke around to see what's on the website.

The second thing I should have mentioned at some point earlier--and, frankly, haven't really had a chance to since things have been so crazy--is that J.K. Rowling's new book came out today.* I am SO FREAKING EXCITED to read it; I feel like I've been waiting for many, many years for another Rowling novel,** and it's so surreal that it has finally been released. I don't have my copy yet; I ordered it a few weeks ago, and it should be coming in the mail in the next week.

This is the first time I've ordered one of her books via Amazon, and it's KILLING ME because all I wanted to do today (as I was dealing with a fridge malfunction, writing a yay/nay post over last week's Glee, running errands, and doing other little things around the apartment) was sit and read The Casual Vacancy straight through. My roomie went to the bookstore this morning to pick up her copy, and so the first thing I saw when I entered the living room this morning was the red and yellow cover with that looming X. Needless to say, I felt very much like I did when I was awaiting my copy of The Fault In Our Stars back in January and she'd gotten hers first: I was impatient. And a little sad.

Honestly, I don't think I will ever not be excited for a J.K. Rowling release. This one was a different experience; it was weird getting a synopsis back a few months ago, because details were kept so secret before each HP release. I definitely miss the book release parties, though. I'm really thrilled to hear the positive reviews that have been released so far (though I haven't read any yet because I don't want to be spoiled too much), and I'm so intrigued by the few tidbits of information about the book that I've allowed myself to read up on. And I absolutely LOVED watching this interview. There's a reason she's one of my favorite authors of all time. J.K. Rowling is AWESOME.

And so, I go back to waiting for the book's arrival, as well as Perks. I feel like I've been waiting a LOT lately.


*As I write this, it's still officially September 27 in this time zone.

**Deathly Hallows came out 5 years ago. I can't believe it's been five years. I mean, there was Tales of Beedle the Bard in between, but...you know what I mean.

Brittany's Grand Comeback: Yay/Nay for Glee 4x02, "Britney 2.0"

Brittany is trying to get her groove back, seemingly confident in herself as she begins senior year for the second time. But something is off: the summer vacation wasn't the best, her voiceover is outside of her head, she's been yelling at shrubs, everyone is baffled by her behavior, and she's stripped of her high pony. She's trying to adjust to the new groove; she's beginning to realize how crucial her grades are, Santana is off at college, and Brittany doesn't know how to deal with it all.

Rachel, of course, is continuing to find her new self, continuing from last week. Cassandra's current assertion is that Rachel isn't sexy enough to dance a tango. So, Rachel attempts to be the kind of sexy she thinks she needs to be. This hasn't really worked for her before; Kurt's attempts to sabotage the makeover he gives her in season 1--a la Sexy Sandy from Grease--was the first, and it failed. In the first Britney episode, Rachel finds confidence in her own Britney fantasy, but goes about it the wrong way with the wrong attitude and a short skirt and pigtail braids that didn't really suit her. And though her determination to prove her sex appeal once again is encouraged by Kurt--under very different circumstances and without ulterior motives--she dives into it, determined to prove herself worthy.

And though Finn isn't around this time to assure her of her unique kind of sexiness, Brody assures her that she is sexy just as she is. She shrugs it off and goes ahead with it, and, of course, it backfires a little. Brody warned her. He knows what's going on.

This time around, the Britney tribute is less about the music and more about the characters. It works, this fabulous focus on the characters and their real issues. It's clear when watching the episode, but it's nice to hear that the writers planned for it to be that way. (The article in the link gave me really high hopes for the rest of the season, and it made me happy to know that they are trying to bring it back to what it was.) (Two other fabulous articles/analyses of interest concerning this episode include this one from Letters From Titan concerning the theme of scrutiny, and this intruiging look on the characters and conflict this episode from Deconstructing Glee.)

The good vibe from the season premiere is still there this week, and if it continues to be there past episode seven, I'll be happy--season three started off strong, and then started to get messy about that point.

Yay: Brittany's arch this episode is lovely. Strong, strong character development this week for her, however small it was. That last shot of her, devastated, made my heart hurt. (Set up for conflict with her and Santana, perhaps?)

Nay: Here's how the lead-in to Womanizer should have gone (or at least, something like it), to avoid the obvious and slightly awkward set up:

School hallway. Marley enters, notices Jake talking to Tina, and stares a little too long. Unique enters from opposite, sees Marley staring at Jake.

UNIQUE: I know that look. And girl, no.

MARLEY, clearly startled:  What are you talking about? 

Marley tries to come off as nonchalant, but Unique knows better.

UNIQUE: I know you have a thing for Jake, but he's not worth it.

And so on. She can mention the thing about new girls sticking together, then talks about how Jake's been going from girl to girl, only been there a short time, yadda, yadda, yadda, and then they start the song. The set up in the episode was too obvious, and wasn't really working for me. I don't really believe that Marley would have admitted her crush on Jake so easily. If you're a 15/16 year old girl in high school, one of the last things you'd freely admit to was your number one crush. At least, I didn't.*

Yay: While I'm still hesitant to like him too much, Brody was really cool this week. I thought his joke about doing 200,000 crunches was cute.

Nay: I want Puck back for longer than just a minute or two. I know he was only supposed to be there briefly, but I wanted him to stick around and be awesome. I miss the graduated ND members a lot, and I'm eager to see them come back as the season progresses.

Yay: I really like how Sam figured out Brittany's plan. (The map he drew for her was awesome.) There was something really special about that scene with the two of them in the auditorium. Also, I wonder if Sam actually uses a compass to get around...

Yay: I LOVED Kurt and Rachel's new place, and I can't wait to see what they do with it. I loved that they were riding bicycles around inside. Simply perfect. I adored their conversation** over dinner, and it felt really natural.

Yay: I feel like Cassandra is going to get more and more interesting every episode. One of my favorite scenes in the episode is where Rachel goes to apologize to her and they talk about second chances in the real world. (Can we talk about how INCREDIBLE Kate Hudson is?)

Interesting: Joe was singing the song about threesomes with Sam and Tina. (Also, "3" was my favorite song this week. All three of them sounded incredible, and it reminded me how much I love Samuel Larson's voice. He's awesome.)

Yay: The Schuest-ometer was fairly low this week. This is good. Any time I don't have to be angry with Mr. Schue is the best time. Also, I'm really surprised that he was okay with--and was the one who suggested--doing Britney Spears, especially because he was so against it the first time around....

Yay: I'm really proud of Rachel for not kissing Brody. This shows growth. (Even if they are meant to date at some point, it's much too soon.)

Yay: SO MUCH EMOTION when Brittany almost shaved her head and then proceeded to beat up Jacob Ben Israel.

On The Fence: I'm not sure how I feel about Jake yet. I'm interested to see more with him in coming episodes. I don't hate him--there just isn't enough there yet for me to quite get him. I feel that so far, we've just been told about who he is rather than shown.

Yay: BUT... I loved how Jake stood up for Marley's mom. Cool points.

Yay: Kurt's right. Cake is awesome. Also, did anyone else notice how at home both he and Rachel are in New York? Hummelberry was meant to be there. *warm fuzzies*

Yay: Kiki and that ridiculously huge Lima Bean cup. SO FUNNY OMG.

Yay(ish): I really like that Rachel is taking charge of navigating life in New York without going crazy like she usually does. And I loved how her flub-up with insulting Cassandra provided some great conflict and a little character development for her this episode. I just hope that she doesn't lose it. You know?

Yowza: "Gimme More" was a deliciously disastrous trainwreck. Lip-syncing was a terrible idea.

Yay: "Everytime" was the best way to end the episode. (I really, really love Marley and I want her to be happy.) That last shot of Rachel painting over Finn's name, followed by the shot of the flowers....


Until next time.



*There was one instance in elementary school when some of the girls in my class found out about the boy I liked (i.e. I told them, which was a stupid move on my part), and then they told him, and then things got embarassing.......Needless to say, I only told two or three of my closest friends about crushes after that.

**Though I still think that Kurt should focus on fashion and forget about NYADA. I mean, I think he'd be great at both, but he has such a creative side.....

To Cure a Restless Mind

The dog next door has taken to barking nonstop at different points of the day. His name is Lucas. He's a tiny little thing, light brown curly fur, with so much of it his eyes are hidden most of the time I've seen him. He has a blue cast on one leg, and you can tell when he's outside because amongst the cute little pitter patter of his feet, there's the occasional thunk of plaster on wood. He's a sweetheart, and whenever I see him with his owner when I'm out and about, I stop to give him a scratch behind the ear.

Sometimes he whines, sometimes he barks. We can hear him from the other side of the kitchen wall. His owner has apologized profusely for the sound. I told her it's okay; dogs will be dogs.

We live on the second floor of our tiny complex. Our neighbors below us are Korean (I used to work with one of them), and I often hear him singing, mostly in the morning just after I step out of the shower  or in the afternoon right before dinner. He has a clear voice that's quite soothing to listen to.

There's a married couple on the ground level that like playing a downsized version of badminton in the tiny parking lot. I've seen them most often at dusk, as the atmosphere makes everything glow orange and red, and when things have calmed from the day. They stand about twelve feet apart, batting the birdie back and forth. The woman is beautiful. She has long black hair that she wears pulled back or in a long braid that reaches to the backs of her knees. Both she and her husband came over to meet Emma's dog once as we were chatting in the parking lot. They are very nice people. Everyone we've met here is.

We hear conversations in Chinese next door on the other side, late into the night. It's those times I wonder how much they can hear from our apartment.

I play music sometimes around midday when I'm making lunch or doing the dishes. My roommate has a laugh that could easily carry through walls. I tend to yell a bit when I get excited about something, as does my roommate. I watch a lot of movies on the DVD player, and I often wonder if the volume is too loud.

In those moments when I sit in our living room, thinking too much about all the things that are happening, the things that are worrying me, I notice these little things. I keep thinking about Harriet the Spy and how Ole Golly was always encouraging Harriet to write down everything she saw if she wanted to be a writer. And yes, Harriet was spying on people. But what she came to realize was that as a writer, she was less of a spy and more of an observer. It's the little things that you notice, how everyone has their own way of eating tacos, for instance, or the strange things people put into their shopping carts at the grocery store.* The way light comes through the window in the early morning, how people talk to one another in church as opposed to how they interact at a party or in intimate conversation. It's anything and everything about growing up and living in a new town or in your own hometown. The smell of your grandparents house, or the memories that float in the back of your mind without explanation. It's making sense of how crazy life seems at two in the morning or when your emotions are so overwrought and wrung out you're not sure where to go. As writers, as artists, as people, we are always noticing things. It's proof of the complexity of life, how things are continuously changing, and how it goes on.

We are observers of the world, of the unique life experiences we have. All we need to do is notice them. It's one reason we're compelled to create. We're always on the search for some kind of understanding.


*A few weeks ago, I saw a man pushing a cart entirely full of chicken. I think they might have been leg/thigh combinations.

Quarter Life or Thereabouts

Shortly after I started dating him, I spent an entire Saturday with my first boyfriend at his house. It was a good day; he made me spaghetti, my favorite meal, minus the mushrooms because I didn't like them. That was one of the first days I ever shot off fireworks other than sparklers, and we just talked, and it felt nice to be able to do so. At that point, we had only been dating for about a month and a half, and because he lived so far away, things were still pretty new. He lived in a pretty small town, and so the two of us and his little sister drove over to the next town to get fireworks. We picked out the firework pack we wanted, paid for it, and we made our way to the nearest gas station to grab something to eat.

He finally mustered up the courage to take my hand as we were walking around. He dropped it, however, as soon as his sister screeched, "Ew, you guys are holding hands?!" and he didn't try holding my hand again for the rest of the day.

I've been watching a lot of The Office in the last three weeks. One of the last episodes I finished was the one where Phyllis and Bob Vance get married. It was a great episode. I was happy for Phyllis. Michael drove me nuts, as per usual. I was appalled at his actions.* I would be absolutely mortified if anyone acted that way at my wedding.

Things have seemingly become more domestic over the last year. My friends' Facebook posts have fallen into this category, ranging from wedding plans to baby announcements and the like. Even watching shows like The Office and Ugly Betty over the last few weeks has been eerily reflective of the job search as I've waited to hear back from potential employers. These things aren't bad. I'm thankful for them--I'm just not yet used to how grown-up everything seems all of a sudden.

I think about that spaghetti Saturday every once and awhile. The thing that taints it is, of course, the ex's reaction when his sister saw us holding hands. At the time, I was embarrassed, too. I thought that maybe things were always like that at the beginning of a relationship. We'd only been dating for just over a month, after all. I felt ashamed for wanting to hold his hand. And it was such a beautiful day, too.

What I realize now, many years later, is that it was stupid for him to react that way. I was hurt, though I didn't want to admit it at the time. The memory leaves a bad taste in my mouth; there was so much I didn't realize at the time that was wrong with the situation and, ultimately, the relationship. It was good that it ended, because the weirdness didn't end there.

One of my best friends, Amanda, is getting married next year, as is my good friend Nicole. I'm excited to be there to be a part of both of their special days.

I don't know if I'll ever have the opportunity to get married, and to be honest, I've never thought much about it. I mean, I have, but not to the same degree you'd expect of a young woman in her twenties. There are few things I'm absolutely sure of, regarding little details of what right now seems like something distant. When I told Amanda that I wanted this song** as part of my ceremony, her face lit up and I knew her excitement was due to the fact I haven't really talked about stuff like this very often; I'm usually pretty quiet/negative about it. But, I knew that if I ever get married, that was the very song I'd want to play. It says everything I could never be able to express.

I have a lot of feelings about it all, and I don't talk about it much. I know that I don't want a Michael Scott there to ruin anything about it, because I know exactly how I'd feel about my wedding day. It's too important, and too precious.



*As annoying as he can be, however, he's such a brilliant character. I can't help but simultaneously love and hate him.

**Here's the original.

The New Glee Club: Yay/Nay for Glee 4x01, "The New Rachel"

The first thing we see in the season four premiere episode is Rachel getting told that she sucks. It's oddly reminiscent of Sandy Ryerson's assertion back in season one, when Rachel is separated from the Glee club for the first time. This time, though, instead of running off to cry in the bathroom, Rachel tries to push past the negativity from her new dance teacher, Cassandra July, and takes it with a strange yet nervous poise, even when she has been dubbed "Little Miss David Schwimmer."And thus, we see the beginning of a change in Rachel Berry. The New Rachel, indeed.

I don't know what exactly I was expecting from this episode, but it certainly wasn't what was presented. The tone is different, and it's apparent almost immediately. The absurdity is still there, as is the humor. Jacob Ben Israel is still the gossip center of McKinley. Tina has a freshman assistant who brings her cupcakes and bananas. Sam does a fabulous Taylor Lautner impression. Artie still likes judging people directing. But as the episode and the race to find "The New Rachel" progresses, it's clear that there is a newness that everyone is trying to reach: "The New New Directions," as is written on the marker board in the choir room. Reinvention. Identity, both false and true. A humble, serious side that hasn't really been around since season one or even the beginning of season three. The show has grown up along with its characters, and its heart is bigger than ever.

In the past, I've handled these yay/nay posts with bullet points, and I think, for the most part, I will stick with that format. I wondered though, after seeing this episode, if I might try formatting it a little differently as the season wears on, to be determined as each new episode airs. We'll see.

So. On to the Yay/Nay.

Nay: New Directions' attitude as they try to understand and navigate their newfound popularity, both in making fun of others and fighting to be the lead star when ND has never functioned the same way Vocal Adrenaline was. Not to mention forgetting who they are. Tina especially. I was glad to see them overcome this attitude by the end of the episode; and as much as it bothered me, I love how it functioned. It carried over nicely from the "Props" episode in season three. But I don't think I could stand seeing Tina's diva or Blaine being bossy and unaccepting for longer than an episode--that's just not who they are as people. As the cliche goes, with great power comes great responsibility. (And now I want to watch Spiderman...)

Yay: Brody. It's early, yet, but he seems cool. It's likely he's not who he seems, however, as we've seen before with Jesse St. James. I'm keeping my eye on him. He's the first to recognize that Rachel is changing.

Yay: I LOVE how Unique refers to herself in the third person. I can definitely see why Wade was so keen to be her, completely. She is incredible.

On the fence: Mr. Schue this entire episode. He didn't let Jake finish, but allowed Marley an entire song at auditions. He chastised the Glee club for forgetting their strengths as a team of unique, talented, amazing individuals, yet pointed out Marley's "star quality." Why is he always all over the place?

Yay: The honesty and emotional weight in Kurt's situation in this episode. As Blaine points out, Kurt is stuck. He's working at the Lima Bean, preparing for classes at the local community college, but something isn't right--it isn't where he's meant to be. His destiny is bigger than what Lima can provide. Even Burt, the best dad to ever be on television, points out that Kurt is meant to be New York. (I wonder about Finn and am eager to see what's happening with him in future episodes--Finn felt stuck, too.)

Yay: Kurt's enthusiasm for the auditions and maintaining the philosophy that ND has so carefully built up over the last three years. Kurt has been a part of ND since day one. He has had his moments, but he still remembers what the club is about, even when everyone else has seemed to have forgotten it. I wish Tina, another one of the original members, would remember that. Artie kinda does.

Yay: Cassandra July. She intrigues me. Deconstructing Glee has some brilliant thoughts on her character. (DG also points out how crazy it was that people who auditioned for ND didn't all get chosen. I totally agree.)

Yay: HUMMELBERRY IS BACK, and Burt is awesome. *warm fuzzies*

Yay: I absolutely adore both Marley and her mother. (Has there ever really been a character like Marley on Glee so far?) She has a big heart, she seems humble, and she is not afraid to stand up for others. Marley's mom is a sweetheart. (Every scene...MY HEART.) I am excited to see Marley's arch this season.

Question: I am super curious to find out how and why Jake knows about Puck, but Puck doesn't know about Jake. (Jake, in general, is very interesting to me.)

Yay: "Chasing Pavements" was the absolute best song this episode could have ended with.

Yay: Rachel dealing with her homesickness and distress from her first week at NYADA. Beautiful character development.

Nay: I didn't care much for "Call Me Maybe." I mean, it sounded okay--but just okay. (Mostly I didn't like to see Unique, Blaine, Tina, and Brittany pushing each other around.)

Yay: BUT... I LOVED Blaine's "ta da" thing he did right at the end of the number. Heehee.

Yay: As much as it annoyed me, I was fascinated with Blaine's attitude this episode. This should be an interesting season for Blaine, methinks.

Yay: The Imagine Dragons Flash Mob. *adds "flash mobs" to this season's wishlist*

Nay: Everyone discouraging Wade from being Unique.

Interesting: Kitty used "garçon" and Brittany used "merci" when talking to Kurt. Puck has used some French in previous episodes.

Yay: I don't think Brittany meant what she said about Marley's mother in a mean way; she was just being Brittany.

Nay: I did miss the other graduated seniors this episode. The dynamic without them is so, so different. (But I'm very glad that the split narrative thing seems to be working so far. We'll see as the season progresses.)

Yay: Stoner Brett is the best.

Interesting: Everyone in Lima, according to Marley's mother, thinks that Rachel's headed straight to Broadway. It's interesting how this belief is juxtaposed with Rachel's current reality in feeling like a failure while trying to adjust to life at NYADA. And I think it's also very truthful to the experience of living in a small town, especially in the Midwest. I wonder how the other NYADA hopefuls we saw from season 3 are faring. Are they in a similar position to Rachel, or are they living their fantasy?

Yay: I'm with Blaine on this one: Kurt doesn't need NYADA. There are other paths to achieve what he's destined to achieve. (Fashion, perhaps? From what has been revealed about Sarah Jessica Parker's character...)

Yay: I'm so glad that ND recognizes how awful Kitty and the rest of the popular kids are being.

Interesting: "Order's been restored." Everyone snaps out of their false identity, their bad attitudes evaporated. And then, of course, the slushies are back. Also, did anyone else notice that Rachel's the only one wearing red in her dance class?

Yay: New Directions is actually rehearsing. A performance that's still in the works: unperfected, raw. They're rebuilding.

Glee Season 4 Wishlist

So. The new season of Glee starts tonight. I've been careful not to spoil myself too much with information that has been released. I felt like I was much too spoiled for the majority of season three, so my new season's resolutions include the determination to stay away from things that could ruin my enjoyment of watching each new episode.

Many of the things I talked about before season 3 still stand, for the most part, especially if it wasn't addressed. This year, though, I'm more worried than I thought I'd be. The first half of season 3 was really good. The last half, while enjoyable, however, fell into something of a confusion similar to how things were going for the first five episodes of season 2. There were things that were beautifully done, and things that weren't handled well, not to mention the few stray random things that just didn't sit well. With that being said, I think season 3 was much stronger than season 2 was.

But enough about that. On to the wishlist.

Story, Plot, and Characters

I definitely want them to continue with story and character development, as they tried to maintain throughout last season. I think they are most successful when the conflict lies within the characters and their respective relationships and grand plans rather than random bits of "whimsy" that don't necessarily make sense within the grand scheme of things.

But, anyway.

• Please, oh please, no more dumb, annoying proposals and engagements, unless it actually makes sense within the development of the characters and their relationships. Will and Emma are fine, but I just want them to show the wedding and be done with it. I wasn't too keen on the Finn/Rachel engagement thing that they carried through the last half of season 3. It didn't carry them further forward; it only brought Rachel back five steps and left Finn even more confused than before about what his real dream was. My opinion is that it was a grand disservice to their characters and their relationship. 
• I want Finn to find something that will make sense as a path for him. The whole acting thing was crazy. That's not his passion. And has it been that? I mean, really? He needs to find a niche. (And I don't think joining the military is going to help...)
• I LOVE the crazy episode scenarios, even if they seem a little random. The Christmas special, the "Props" episode where they switch bodies, the mattress commercial, Fondue for Two--there's just something so special and silly and wonderful when these scenarios pop up. And it's so Glee. 
• On the other hand, I absolutely love the normal, true-to-life scenarios, and the show has proven that they handle them really well. The yearbook photos from Season 1, the anti-prom attempt in Season 3, Kurt and Rachel's heart-to-heart after they see the NYADA hopefuls, the beautifully-handled conflict when they put on West Side Story, bits and pieces of the class presidential race, Tina and Rachel driving to talk to Carmen, Artie encouraging Quinn as she attempts to reach the top of the handicapped ramp, Kurt trying to cheer Blaine up with the stuffed animal won at Six Flags etc. These moments are when the show feels the most truthful. It's the little things, you know? 
• I want Lauren Zizes back on the show. 
• More Sam impressions. More Unique. More Rory. 
• I'm eager to see Blake from the Glee Project on the show, but I have yet to see the season finale for GP, so at this point, I'm not totally sure what his character is going to be. 
• Slight spoiler: the first episode for this season is called "The New Rachel." I'm not sure how I feel about this, and will likely return to the subject in the 4x01 Yay/Nay segment in a few days.
• I just really want this season to be successful. I'm excited to see how New Directions functions as, basically, a brand new club. The vibe is going to be interesting, and I'm super excited to see how they handle the story lines with the characters so spread out. (My worry is that this will fail; I don't want anyone to be forgotten or overlooked. It could get very messy.)

The Song Wishlist

I did read one thing that said they'd be doing "Don't Speak" by No Doubt which makes me SUPER HAPPY, but I'm worried I will be disappointed. (When they did one of my favorite songs ever, "In My Life" by The Beatles, I was elated...and then I heard their version and wanted to cry because it was mediocre. I can't listen to it to this day. I was so, so disappointed.)

I also hear they're doing "It's Time" by Imagine Dragons. *fist pump*

In addition to the songs I listed last season, here are some of the songs I hope them to include this time around.

• "Everytime," one of my favorites from Britney Spears. They're doing another Britney episode. I don't know if this is one of the songs they're doing or not. *fingers crossed*
• I wonder how they'd handle a Disney-themed or '90s boy band episode...???
• Spice Girls. Kurt and Rachel mentioned it in season 3. I can't unthink it, and that's good because I really want them to do one of their songs. 
• Speaking of '90s songs, something by Alanis Morissette. 
• "Virtual Insanity" by Jamiroquai. And I think it would be really cool for them to try recreating the video. With Artie (in dream dance sequence?) or Joe Hart singing of course. (Samuel did wonders with "Stereo Hearts.")
• Any song by the All-American Rejects. Particularly "Another Heart Calls" or "Kids In The Street."
• Have they done anything by ELO? Can that happen? (See also: The Cars.)

Season 4 is going to feel so very different. But hopefully in the best way possible. Until the next Yay/Nay. 

Baby Pink Platforms

A few days ago, my mother asked me--or rather, reminded me--to go through dresses and artwork for a garage sale our church back home is doing later this fall. It was something she'd mentioned to me before, but I hadn't done so the last time I was home and the deadline for having things ready was coming up fast. Another very brief trip home was in order.

I started going through artwork in the basement after I arrived earlier this afternoon, and that was...interesting. Some of it was stuff I'd forgotten I'd done, and the majority of the work was pretty weak from what I remembered. I joked to Mom that one of the pieces I'd chosen was from my "Blue Period," except that the drawing was horrible, and it happened to have been done during a really bad time in high school. At least Picasso's Blue Period produced beautiful, thoughtful work; I went through a period where I didn't care about what I was doing, and it is clear by looking at each and every piece.

The dress search was its own trip. I found one dress that I couldn't bear to part with; it is a deep mulberry color, one my mother made for me for my senior Winter Formal, that has a beautiful cut-out at the base of the skirt and lace stretching across the neckline. I told her I'd take it later, once I have room in my closet to keep it. I found the dress I wore to my high school graduation; it was never very comfortable and it poofed out strangely in front. The ball gown I'd worn to my senior prom, I finally decided, would be donated to the garage sale along with the graduation dress, a skirt I wore once or twice, and a couple of dance costumes.

When I was poking around my bedroom, I found a ton of things that brought back memory after memory. But then I found the platforms.

I'd gotten them at Wal-Mart when I was in junior high. They're baby pink--my favorite color at the time--and I wore them maybe once or twice. In fact, I don't even remember really wearing them--just admiring them, considering whether to wear them or not. Like, perhaps people would think I was trendy if I wore them.

The strangest thing about it all was the fact I'd found them the same weekend I repurchased the second Britney Spears' album, one that I have a love/hate relationship with. I listened to it again in its entirety yesterday, and it brought back memories of a group of friends I spent a lot of my time with in junior high, making up dances to each of the songs and listening to it for hours on end. Two of these friendships were especially toxic; one girl continuously brought me down, reminding me at every chance she could how much better she was at everything, and the other was close to the same, but she lived in my neighborhood and so we saw each other a lot until she decided to ignore me. And then, I entered high school and decided to spend more time in my room reading than socializing.  

One of the girls wore shoes much like this on a regular basis. It was her style, and I wanted to wear the same kind of stuff she did. I bought them hoping that she would approve, and that others at school would consider me trendy enough to spend time with. But I never really wore them.

This kind of nostalgia is something I'm not sure how to handle. At times it's great, because I can tap into the emotions easily when writing. I remember the good things about being that age, about wanting to wear makeup and nailpolish and getting prettied up, feeling as beautiful as Britney or Beyonce or the girls from B*Witched. I've talked a little bit about this before. I was reminded of it again earlier this week when I put in Hocus Pocus and my roommate and I were reminiscing about how different it was watching it as much later. There was something really exciting about growing up at the turn of the century. Listening to that music, watching those movies I loved as a kid--they all bring back the good things. Before the internet was something I depended on, when Disney Channel showed good movies and began airing shows that would stick with me for years to come. Every once and awhile, that mental journey is wonderful. I remember where I was, and how far I've come. 

Other times, however, it's somewhat depressing. At thirteen, I wasn't able to see how those friendships would break down my self-esteem, nor how I would think back on that experience often, understanding what it meant in my life. It puts me in a weird headspace, much like that when I read an old journal. 

But it keeps me thinking, wondering, discovering and rediscovering. I sang along to the album as I've listened to it this weekend, remember the things I love about it, as well as the things I don't. I even tried the baby pink platforms on, just to see how well they fit. And they did. I felt like a Spice Girl as soon as I buckled them. Baby Spice. She's the one who wore the platform shoes most often. 

I walked into the kitchen to show Mom. "Well, what do you think? How do I look?" I asked, striking a pose. 

Mom turned, glancing down at my feet. "Oh, yeah. Clunky."

I laughed, glancing down as well. My mulberry nail polish clashed with the pink in a strange way. "You're right. I gotta take these off."

Top of the World Without Flashlights

On the day of graduation back in May, after a rousing and hilarious game of Apples to Apples, my roommates and I and the remainder of our party guests decided to go to Top of the World* so that Abbey, Emma, and I could see it before we were "officially done" with undergraduate. So, we piled into two cars and followed Amanda up the hill to the outlook point.

Top of the World, if I'm explaining correctly, is a scenic outlook at the top of the tallest point in Manhattan. The hill can easily be identified by 'MANHATTAN' in very large letters that has been put into the side of the hill. Visitors can sit and observe the view from the letters, or take various trails that lead down the hill. The night of graduation was the first time I'd ever been there, so I was especially excited though I knew that it was probably the last time I'd get to spend time with Abbey before she left for Chicago.

Once we'd parked and realized that we'd forgotten flashlights--it was after dark--Amanda led us to the Manhattan sign, were there were two couples enjoying the view,** and we took a moment to enjoy the city at night, from Wal-Mart over to the other side of Tuttle Creek Boulevard.

"There's another place that I should show you, c'mon," Amanda said, leading us back up the path and into brush.

My phone was my only light source, and as soon as she headed what seemed in the dark as off the path, I got really nervous. Regardless, I followed Heidi and everyone else down another short path and up onto a wide expanse of concrete surrounded by trees. Here, we couldn't really see a good view of Manhattan because of all the trees, but we could see the stars. Granted, we couldn't see a lot because of the lights from the city, but there were a few that shone brightly enough for us to catch a glimpse of them.

There was a rustling in the brush bordering our viewpoint. Then there were noises. My scaredy-cat side thought we were minutes away from being attacked.

"Are you okay?" I asked Heidi, who was nearby.

"Yeah."

The others became louder. Emma and Amanda scoffed at the sounds, and Abbey was jumping around. Alisha was talking about Darren Criss. I stepped closer to Heidi.

"Seriously?!" I finally called out. It wasn't funny anymore. "This is immature. We are in college. GOD."

Amanda came over to me and placed her hands on my shoulders. "Heather, it's just those jerks we interrupted earlier. We are not going to be attacked. They got mad that we interrupted their make out session, and they're trying to get back at us."

"I KNOW," I shrieked. "But I have an overactive imagination that's going crazy right now. This is why I can't handle horror movies."

We made our way back to the outlook point by the parking lot, giggling, talking, and making jokes while trying to soak up every last delicious moment of what had been an amazing, wonderful day. It had been, truly, the best day, and as curfew came at 11pm, I was devastated that it was over. We said goodbyes to Abbey, exchanged hugs with one another and went our separate ways.

This summer, as far as I can remember, was probably the one that went by the fastest. I read a lot, worked, fine tuned my resume, applied for a few jobs. Packed. Moved into a wonderful little apartment that puts the Tiny Blue Room to shame a hundred times over. Classes have been in session for about two weeks, and it's been so incredibly strange not to be going on to campus. As I wait to hear from the jobs I applied for, I am trying to keep my head in the mindset of what I want to accomplish. Graduation day was so long ago, but it feels like it just happened. I'm thankful for the break, but I know I'll be ready to get back into the groove once graduate school gets here.

How strange time is.


*To this day, I'm not sure if it's officially called Top of the World or Manhattan Hill. For the sake of continuity in this post, I'm going to refer to it as Top of the World.

**They were making out. We were being loud. It was awkward.

In Which There Is an Excerpt from a Novel I Will Never Finish

Last night while I was searching for some character notes, I came across the notebooks containing the very poorly-written novel attempt from when I was in high school. I never finished it, but I felt I had it planned out for sequels and other nonsense. The original partial draft is really bad, poorly written, kind of insensitive, and all sorts of crap. I didn't touch it much past my first creative writing class I took as a sophomore in college, mostly because I began to realize how horrible it was, and by then had grown up a little and had developed much different writing goals than what I had then.

I haven't looked at it in years. And believe me, flipping through it again was much more embarassing than I thought it would be, and I felt very, VERY thankful that I've grown as a writer since then. (Thank goodness for all of my fabulous writing classes and professors.)

I did find a second draft of a scene that wasn't the same degree of awful as the original draft, and so I thought I'd share it below. It was written about six years ago, probably around when I graduated high school or early freshman year of college. Don't say I didn't warn you.


-----

Melinda's basement was large and carpeted in a pretty cranberry shade. The main room, the first you entered when you came down the staircase, was a TV room, complete with two squashy sofas, an armchair, and coffee table. A closet was located beside a doorway leading to two other rooms, Melinda's bedroom and a laundry room.

Melinda led us down the staircase and many of the others went directly for seats on the couches as if they'd done this kind of thing all the time.

Only Kevin, Jessica, mark, and I were left to fend for ourselves for seating.

"Let's have our own party over here," Jessica said, motioning to an open wall area next to the food table, and we sat down as Melinda cleared her throat loudly to get everyone's attention.

"Okay, so before anything begins, a couple of rules. No drinking at this party. It won't be good to have a hangover the second week of school." She paused, while Cody, Kenzi, and Don laughed. "Next, we have to watch the noise level. Mom's organizing her office on the second floor, and she doesn't want to hear us. So, have fun, but not so much that she hears it clearly. Third, this is a movie party, so don't spoil the ending for those who haven't seen it! Also, the theme is 'Double the Fun,' so there will be two movies, two kinds of every kind of food, and--" she gave Kevin an odd look--"we will be playing Fourteen Minutes in Heaven."

"OH MY GOSH," Kevin said. "You're serious?" He fell over on his side in shock when she nodded.

"Names will be drawn for those who are single, and couples will have their own turn as well." Melinda pulled two containers each filled with with folded up pieces of paper out from under the food table. She stuck a hand in one of them, and pulled a slip out. "First up is Dani and Brad."

Danielle squealed loudly as she jumped up from one of the sofas, grabbed her boyfriend's hand, and shimmied into the closet. The door shut behind them with a click of final doom.

"Can we start the movie?" Laura asked, walking up to the DVD unit.

"Yeah," Melinda said, going to help.

"You guys," Kevin said, still on his side. "We get fourteen minutes. At a time."

"Calm down, Romeo," Jessica told him, as he sat up slowly. "If you fuss over it too much, you might not get your Juliet."

"Are you okay with this game, Jess?" Mark asked her, rocking on his knees.

Jessica made a face not unlike when you eat something sour. "Better than spin the bottle any day. Still, there's the element of the unknown along with it...What if I get a weirdo, like Don?"

"I heard that," Don called, his eyes glued to the movie that was now playing on the TV.

Jessica rolled her eyes.

Kevin leaned in. "There's a way to solve that issue, you know."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "What's the answer?"

"Settle down, find a nice steady boyfriend. Then you know he's not weird. AND he wants to kiss you because he loves you for you, and is not just a perverted bag of testosterone."

"Don't talk to me, Kevin, you're making my brain hurt with your crazy outlook on life."

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Yep. I need to burn it. *sigh*