Hodgepodge #2

My procrastination got incredibly ridiculous over the last week. I didn't work the weekend and other than my friend Whitney's wedding on Saturday, there was no real reason for me to be working late into the night last night to finish the take-home essay exam. But I was. I was so ashamed of myself for letting it get so bad. The essays themselves were not difficult and didn't take long to write. But I just couldn't hold concentration long enough start writing anything until yesterday after work. I wasted more time doing other things than actually writing, all because I was just tired of doing things. (Plus, thinking about next week--especially with this video making the end more real in my mind--has me caught between so many mixed emotions and it was hard to focus.)

Also? I spend much of the day wishing this truly had the ability to solve my problems.

Regardless, my history class ended really well. I don't remember getting so attached to a non-major class; when I thanked the professor on Friday when we were dismissed, I was so overcome with a multitude of emotions that I simultaneously stumbled over my words, rambled, and tried not to cry. On the second to last day of class, we watched an awesome movie called Easy Rider, one I can't really talk to you about unless you've seen it. It is wonderful, though. So very wonderful.

Alisha and I spent the Fourth at Cico Park to watch the fireworks and stuff our faces with food. It was only the third or fourth time I'd ever shot off any fireworks aside from sparklers, so Alisha found it highly amusing to poke fun at my apprehension. I sprinted from everything I set off, afraid of being in the way of any unexpected explosions. Regardless, it was a nice evening. We listened to some of the Glee soundtrack as we watched the show. I don't know what it is about July 4th, but I never seem to really get excited until the moment the sky lights up. As we stood there in a calm silence with the booms and bits of music surrounding us, I thought back on past Independence Days with my family spent either at home, in Nebraska with my cousins, or once even in Michigan. How much my dad hates firecrackers; how Mom would pull out the bug candle for us to light our sparklers and how we'd draw words through the air. The time I remember spending the Fourth in Michigan, and because of the rain and humidity, the show we went to see at Lake Superior took place on the 5th instead of the 4th. Sitting on the front porch at my parents' house, watching what we could see of the Lakeview show through the branches of the trees.

So much emotion in those forty minutes. I miss my family.