General Thoughts, etc. Related to BEA 2011

One of my favorite sites, Forever Young Adult, has posted part one of their BEA 2011 report. Not only do I love the site even more than I did--is that even possible?--but I now am convinced that going to BEA is something I really, really need to add to my bucket list.

Also related: This wonderful talk given by my favorite author in the history of the universe, Sarah Dessen. (Who, incidentally, was within driving distance two weeks ago on a stop of her book tour for What Happened To Goodbye, and I was unable to go see her because she was there on a weekday and I had class. *sniffles*)

Happy Thought #1

Deconstructing Glee brings something up that didn't hit me fully until about 2 minutes ago. I'm not going to get my hopes too high, but...

AGREE. Agree, agree, agree. Hopefully? Pretty please?!

Your Daily Dose of Potter...

...comes to you from Prisoner of Azkaban, perhaps the coolest of the seven, as it has an awesome yet unexpected plot twist that involves being in two places at once.

Happy Monday.

Decoding a Secret Note from Long Ago...

Yesterday when I got up (I'm at home for the weekend to visit my family), I came downstairs and was almost immediately called into the kitchen. Mom and Heidi were looking at me with almost identical amused expressions.

"So guess what we found underneath the water tank?" Heidi asked. 

"It's very 'privat'," Mom added, "and it's addressed to you."

The first thing I thought of was Harry Potter because the way she pronounced 'privat' sounded like 'Privet'. I didn't know what to say, and looked back and forth between them. "What are you talking about?" I asked after a moment, baffled. 

Heidi then handed me a folded up piece of notebook paper, one that was slightly battered with a couple tea stains and the words: "Privat dont read" written in pencil on the outside. 

Before I read it aloud to Mom and Heidi, I glanced over it to reacquaint myself with its contents. As soon as I read the first line, I knew exactly what it was. This is what it said (spellings, grammar, etc. have been retained from the original): 

Dear Heather,

I was thinking and I Guess I Do like you, and well will you Go out with me? and about the butterfly hair hair clips I think you should Decide if you look better with them on or off. if you dont want to be my Girlfriend thats fine. and I think your cute too. Well if you want to Reply to this the sign it and put a yes or no beside your name.

Sincerely, Charlie

Mom, Heidi, and I laughed about it after I finished, but it got me thinking. My apparent vanity the note admitted to aside, if you would have asked me two days ago, I would have told you that there was no way I'd received a "yes/no" note in elementary school. Cue yesterday, when I realized how naive I'd been. Who was I kidding? Of course I'd gotten one; I would not remember EVERYTHING that had happened in school. As for the information gathered from reading this ancient note, I knew that I was in fifth grade when I'd received it (the mention of butterfly clips, which were all the rage at that point). I remembered the events that lead up to it. This boy was new at the time and I had a crush on him, and then proceeded to tell everyone at Girl Scouts about my feelings. Within a few days he knew that I liked him because it's the general tendency to pass on the information to everyone else in the fifth grade. I must have either written him a note or talked to him at recess to clarify information, and then he responded with this.

I don't think I "dated" him. I had had a couple of "secret boyfriends" after this note, but the sender was never either of them and since I was not allowed to truly date until I was 16, the two relationships in question never got any further than notes passed in class or exchanged tokens or one or two slow dances in seventh grade. I suppose my main concern after reading it yesterday was that I couldn't remember everything surrounding it. What else was going on? The note holds some sort of context long forgotten, weighing it down to a point from which I cannot retrieve it. And was he truly interested in being my boyfriend? Probably not, but at that age, it may be more of the idea of being closer with the people you fancy or the idea itself of having a significant others that drives kids to ask yes or no. It is the nearing the line between cooties of grade school and the hormones of the teenage years, where sexual experimentation reigns king and love gets complicated.

I haven't been in a relationship in four years, but in that time I've thought a lot about it. I know know that it's more than just "thinking someone's cute" (though I appreciate what the note had to say). There are also many kinds of love, and the kind of love that the note addresses is much different than the kind of love people my age search for. As we grow older, our understanding of the world becomes both clearer and much more complex. I fear that sometimes we forget that love is that complicated, and therefore what we think is forever reveals itself to be only temporary. I know that I've only felt that "strongly" about one person ever, and I never even dated him--and even then I still am not sure what our friendship entailed or if what I felt was truly this kind of love. It is different than the kind of love I have for my parents, my sister, my family, or my friends. I see the kind of love my friends and peers have with their significant others, the love that's declared daily on Facebook, both for newlyweds and babies. Everyday it seems more and more complicated. And when we toss around the word "love" like a frisbee, do we fully comprehend how what we say relates to what it is we're actually feeling?

"If you look the right way, you can see the whole world is a garden."

The other day when Alisha and I were at Hastings, I found a copy of The Secret Garden. It had been AGES since I'd seen it--I'm in my early twenties and the only time I was able to watch it was when we'd go visit my grandparents in Omaha because we never got around to getting a copy for ourselves...and the last time I watched it, I was probably 7 or 8. I figured it would be worth it for nostalgia's sake, and so I bought it, unaware of what it would do to me. 

I put it in that night and finished the following day (it had been very late when I started it). I remembered only bits and pieces and I was not expecting to become so enveloped in it...yet the entire time I was caught up in its simplicity and beauty. The walls of the manor were covered in tapestries, the wardrobe Victorian (as is Colin's preoccupation with death). The look of the film itself had the quality and feeling as old photographs do, an air of the antique, of times long forgotten and secrets within. The garden, I think, was what really got me. Vines making their way up the wall, as thick and present as the tapestries in the house, ruins of a building (a church, perhaps?) on one end, and within the expanse, roaming flowers, bushes, animals. And that gorgeous, grand swing...

At the end of the movie, after I'd calmed down from getting unexpectedly emotional while watching Colin running around, his father in tow, showing him every nook and cranny of his mother's garden, I found myself thinking about what had drawn me to it in the first place. There was a sense of magic, of curiosity and mystery that surrounded the story; present in Mary's discovery of an ornate key in the room at the other end of a secret passageway, present in the moment Colin walks for the first time back and forth between Mary and Dickon, present in Mary's dream of her mother in the garden. 

And then I thought about the other films I'd loved as a child: among many others, A Little Princess and Labyrinth. Each of these films has a sense of magic to them. Sara never loses her sense of imagination and belief that every girl is a princess despite her father's apparent death (though her faith is tested when she is forced into servitude immediately after she is told the news). The other girls are enchanted by her storytelling; Miss Minchin's practical viewpoints are challenged with everything that Sara brings to the school. And the film is beautiful...the scene that still enchants me today is the one in which Sara stands on the balcony of her attic prison, and the snow is falling, and she begins to spin around and around......

And then, of course, there is Labyrinth, which is still one of my favorite films ever. The Sarah in this story has one desire only: to find her brother and fix the wrong she caused. She struggles with her love for fantasy and the pressure to be more mature, to act her age. Everything that she encounters works against her; little creatures that live underneath the cobblestone change the direction of her marks, she is always being given the wrong directions, and Jareth controls the conditions of their agreement. But yet she continues on, determined to accomplish what she said she would. And by the end? She discovers that she can overcome anything, telling Jareth, "You have no power over me." Though she attains a sense of maturity by the time her parents arrive home, she also recognizes that her imagination, her fantasy, will always be a part of her and should therefore not be completely shut out.

I fell for these movies long before Nancy Drew, Harry Potter, and American Girl, before I realized that reading was something I loved, that storytelling meant more to me than almost everything else. And though I never read Frances Hodgson Burnett's two classic stories as a kid (something I mean to rectify this summer, if everything goes as planned), the stories themselves stuck with me as I read more and more, soaking up the mystery and the magic. Perhaps these influences left me with with a slightly warped sense of human nature--I tend to underestimate what people can do sometimes--but these were some of the first things that also lead me to think beyond what everyday life presents to us. The human imagination can be a terrible thing, but it is also beautiful, transcending the ordinary ebb and flow of real life, allowing us to grow and understand better who we are. With The Secret Garden, I discovered that there is beauty within mystery and that it is these mysteries that engage the mind and ignite the imagination. Perhaps this child-like curiosity and fascination with storytelling will be with me for the rest of my life. I don't mind, though. It keeps things interesting. 

An Examination of Kurt in "New York"

Many thanks to Deconstructing Glee for posting a link to this. Letters from Titan has posted a mind-blowing analysis on Kurt's hero journey and his wardrobe in "New York". 

I have no words. This is incredible. 

Today's Art Moment....

...comes from the portraits of Emma Watson by Mark Demsteader. GORGEOUS.* The absence and simultaneous presence of marks and value, how mute some of the value is, the simple linework...and each piece is unique while still fitting with the others. I can't get over it.

This kind of thing always makes me really happy. I have a much bigger appreciation for abstract now than I did two years ago, but this kind of thing is what I'll always have love and adoration for. I am determined to try to preserve traditional methods for handling the figure in my work as much as I can while also experimenting and pushing it to see where it takes me. Artists like Mark Demsteader, Graham Little, Elizabeth Peyton, and many others are hugely inspirational for me in this respect. Modern art is not just limited to abstract (though it's certainly a huge part of it, as is seen in these works.) Wonderful, wonderful stuff.

*Sidenote: Have I mentioned how much I LOVE Emma Watson?


Source: The Leaky Cauldron

One Word

The Leaky Cauldron has posted a video in their video galleries featuring some of the Harry Potter cast describing their experience in one word for Empire Magazine. 

Chills. Oh my goodness, so beautiful. Can one word really capture a decade, though? (Perhaps I only think that because I'm overly wordy...)

Side note: I don't think it's quite hit me yet that the last ever huge Harry Potter release will take place in a month and a half. Oh man....

Yay/Nay for Glee 02x22, “New York”

Watching "New York," I had a hard time believing that this was the finale to the season that started with Mr. Schue singing along with "Toxic" (this is the only scene ever in Glee where I have to look away) and odd things like promise rings and inappropriate/unnecessary side plots that led nowhere. But yet this episode celebrated more than just New Directions' stellar efforts in past competitions and hard work: it celebrated how far each of them has come in the time since they joined glee club. Kurt begins the episode reminiscing about their humble beginnings, and in that moment it hits you how far they have come. It is wonderful.

This episode was awesome. As always, spoilers ahead.

Yay: "Hey, do you know why it smells like it's wet here all the time?" and "Most of the other teams split by sexual orientation." I was in stitches. Have I mentioned how much I love the writing of this show??

Yay  (something you may not have noticed the first time through): Brittany's one-liners. Responding to Kurt's "I feel like Eloise.": "I have pills for that."; "And I'm going to be anxiously awaiting just like everyone else to see if their babies are Asian, too."; In response to "You're my best friend": "Yeah, me too."

Nay: The kids' lack of preparation until they actually are in New York. I mean, I guess it makes sense as they are at their best when they're loose. Still. I would be freaking out a little if I weren't prepared for a competition that was DAYS AWAY.

Yay: The juxtaposition of the happenings the boys' room to those in the girls' room. Also? The pillow fight and the fact that Kurt was a part of it. *fist pump*

Yay: Dreaming big. From Rachel in Sardi's to New Directions' attempt to gain inspiration from the city to that beautiful scene in which Kurt and Rachel visit the Wicked theater, we see these wide-eyed teenagers from Ohio getting a taste of a kind of life that Ohio is unable to match, see everything they dream of possible. They can be whatever they want. This is exhibited beautifully when Kurt is telling Blaine all the reasons he's not totally upset about ultimately losing. In comparison to what they know from life in a small midwestern town, New York is one one that allows them to achieve their dreams.

Yay: Rachel and Kurt's friendship. My favorite part of the episode is that of their adventure through the city. I LOVED that they did breakfast at Tiffany's. I LOVED that Rachel's final motivation for talking to Patti LuPone was because Kurt would want her to. I LOVED that Kurt insisted they break into the theater. I LOVED their duet from Wicked--hands down the best song of the episode. I LOVED how Kurt encouraged Rachel to make a choice through song. And I LOVED their discussion about the future. They are both dreamers, highly talented, and they have an incredible understanding of each other that the others will never be able to match. There's just something about their friendship...."For Good" is marvelous. I clapped at the end of the sequence because it was so amazing. Thank you, Glee.

Yay: All the references to romantic comedies as Finn and Rachel make their way through the city. Funny and wonderful all at the same time.

Yay: Finn and Rachel. It took freakin' forever, and not without a lot of trouble, but FINALLY... I was exhausted from all the build-up. (I was rooting for Finn all the while Rachel was being difficult. I'm glad she finally came around.)

Question: Does Quinn really know that Santana's a lesbian? Or does she just know about the rumor but no confirmation? I couldn't tell if her "I'm flattered" comment was meant as a joke or if it was because she knows...

Yay: The scene with Quinn's breakdown was very good. Great acting from all three of them.

Yay: Rachel and Sunshine resolving their issues. I'm so glad Rachel is growing up. Great character development for her.

Yay: While it was heartbreaking to see New Directions lose--it upset me to no end--I appreciated the fact they didn't win quite yet. You know what I mean? Glee puts a lot of focus on the journey, and as cheesy as that sounds, as viewers we are drawn to the events that lead up to a big moment. I love that the writers aren't afraid to have them lose. It makes it so much more worthwhile if it goes the other way. If New Directions make it to Nationals again next season (and I'm really hoping they do), it will make it even more exciting if they place first at nationals. It's also realistic; they were up against 50 other schools, and they placed 12th. That's pretty impressive if you ask me. I can't wait to see what they have up their sleeves next season as they make their way toward nationals. And they will win. They have to.

Yay: "Light Up the World" was excellent. I like "Loser Like Me" a little better--I feel it has a little more 'oomph'--but "Light" is quality. It's almost a fusion of the things the glee club has had to overcome over the season: speaking up, perseverance despite whatever may be in your way or if you are unsure of yourself, being who you are rather than what someone else may want you to be and so on. And that mentality worked, didn't it? They made it to Nationals. Also, I loved how there were multiple solos on the song. Strong way to go out.

Yay: "It was the Superman of kisses. It came with its own cape." LOL. Finn is awesome this week.

Yay: Kurt and Blaine and "I love you." JOY!!!! HAPPINESS!!! Such a beautiful moment. No words can describe how happy I am. (cue happy dance) "You know, when you stop and think about it, Kurt Hummel has had a pretty good year." Yes you have indeed, Kurt, and I am SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!

Yay: I also loved the bit leading up to that and after with Kurt telling Blaine about the aftermath of the competition, complete with flashback of Santana chewing Rachel out in Spanish. Also, when Kurt is talking about the Pippa Middleton musical, and Blaine gives Sam and Mercedes that "He's so silly" look. Slightly related: I'm glad that Mercedes was sporting a shirt from the competition.

Yay: HOORAY FOR SAM AND MERCEDES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JOY! HAPPINESS! Not a minute after cheering for Kurt and Blaine's beautiful moment was I cheering again because Mercedes had someone to love. I'm fairly sure that the last eight minutes of this episode put me on cloud nine. The only thing I don't understand is why Sam and Mercedes are being so secretive about it. Why not tell the world??

Yay: Brittany's bit of wisdom in her conversation with Santana.

Yay/Nay: Talks of the future. It makes me sad to think of graduation, but I loved how it was hovering over the end of the episode. Definitely a different kind of feeling.

It's going to be a long wait for Season 3. But it will be worth it.

Little Known Fact #1

I'm fairly sure that this scene is the reason I love drawing so much.* I mean, I drew all the time when I was little (when I wasn't reading, anyway), and Mom taught me almost everything I knew about art until I got to college. But this scene fascinated me, captured my heart and my attention and my wonder, captivated me so much that it still haunts me today. I struggle to find the words to truly explain to you the feeling.

This is drawing. I mean, really drawing. There isn't much else like it.

*There are many other forms of inspiration that I cling to regarding drawing and focusing on the figure--including but not limited to Caravaggio, Sidney Goodman, Degas, etc.--but this is one of the very first ones. (Well, this and The Little Mermaid. I know it sounds weird, but seriously--I probably would be doing something very different had I not grown up with either that or Beauty and the Beast. The first of many "defining moments.")

Perks Movie Awesomeness

Emma-Watson.net has posted some early behind the scenes pictures from The Perks of Being a Wallflower filming.

First, I LOVE Perks. One of the best books ever written. And one of my all-time favorites.

Second, I LOVE Emma Watson and Logan Lerman, who are both set to star.

Third, the two points above put together? And the pictures as proof that they are, indeed, filming?  HOLY. CANOLI.

I approve of this development. Now excuse me while I perform my happy dance, because this is a moment that should be celebrated.

Remember When? Part One, most likely.

I think it's safe to say I am obsessed with the concept of memory. I mean, I think too much anyway--about anything and everything--but when it comes to memory, my head nearly explodes because it is such a complex, multifaceted idea. I return to it a lot in my writing (especially poetry), and it has recently wiggled its way into my artwork alongside time (which is another discussion entirely--and another obsession I'm sure I'll return to at some point). It makes sense, though, that I'm so preoccupied with it; isn't a huge part of what we think about memory outside of the immediate action of the moment? Our knowledge is based on memory.

I'm not an expert, by any means. I intend to do a lot more research in the near future. A lot of my musings at this point are merely that: muses. 

Anyway, I'm home for the weekend to spend time with my parents. I was talking with my mom after she got home from work last night, and I noticed one of the picture frames I'd helped put together for my sister's high school graduation a few years back, propped against one wall in the dining room. They'd been there for awhile, and as my habit is when I go anywhere, I looked at the pictures.* The ones included in it were those Mom and I had picked out; I remember the stories behind what's going on in many of the pictures, but there was one picture in particular that struck me. It is of my sister and my cousin Betsy, taken in the rainforest area at the Henry Doorly Zoo. My sister is smiling, Betsy is giving a shy smile, and they are pausing to pose along one of the vine-framed paths. It's not that I'd forgotten about the picture; when I saw it again last night, it hit me that I had 'forgotten' (i.e. I had not thought about) that day in ages. In a brief moment, I remembered how shy Betsy was when she was that young, how much Heidi, my sister, had changed in the time between the day the picture was taken and today. I remembered that the reason for the outing was to celebrate my aunt's visit from California, and most of Mom's side of the family had been there that day to go to the zoo. I remembered that my grandfather had gone that day, but my grandmother had not (but I couldn't remember the reason why). That was the day we'd had the chance to see the Desert Dome, walked through the Aquarium arch in which sharks would "swim" over you. But not much else beyond that. 

I remember a lot of strange, random things when I'm home. Some are good, some are bad. I feel like I remember more when I make these visits back home: things that I didn't necessarily want to think on--a lot of my memories of elementary school, junior high, and high school fall into this category--but also really good things about visiting family and our trips to Michigan, Mount Rushmore, and Nebraska, things that I treasure about my own experience with my parents and sister, good friend memories, etc. By merely being in that small town environment, seeing the places I attended school, frequented in my childhood and adolescence, I am both bombarded and blessed with the memories I had stored in the back of my mind. A lot of them are jumbled, and I forget details, but I certainly remember why they are important to me. They must matter in some way, or I wouldn't remember them, right? 

In the case of the zoo picture, I worried that if I had not looked at the picture, I would not have remembered anything about that day in the way I did, with the memories tagging along, one right after another. I remember going there, but those little details that those pictures brought back to me...would I have been able to present them to myself?**

*I love looking at picture albums, etc. When I was little and we'd visit my grandparents, I remember spending hours upon hours just looking through all the old, new, and in-between photographs they had. I  love the stories they tell, and I entertained myself imagining what stories they could be telling (or making up things if I had no knowledge of the reality behind them). 

**Pictures vs. pure memory is also something I'm interested in....see what I mean? THERE IS SO MUCH TO THINK ABOUT.  

Good Article Alert....

...concerning Blaine and Kurt, of course.  Many thanks to a friend of mine (Hi Crystal!) from Facebook as well as Deconstructing Glee for the heads up: there is an excellent three-part discussion of the two characters' singing styles in relation to current societal norms entitled "The Countertenor and The Crooner". (Part 2, Part 3)

Quotage #1:

“Defying Gravity” both reflects Kurt’s character and transcends him, presenting the feminine male voice, as, quite literally, defiant. In Colfer’s hands, this song becomes a manifesto for a new generation of queer kids. Kurt is here defying the dominant gender norms that would keep his voice from taking flight, as well as defying the sex binaries of American mainstream culture that would prevent from him playing a girls’ role. In Glee’s narrative, Kurt protests at not being allowed to sing the song because “it is a girl’s song.” “Defying Gravity” is the beginning of Kurt/Colfer’s gradual erosion and queering of the gendered/sexed norms surrounding popular singing, which Glee most often presents through Kurt’s reclamation of the diva.

(McCracken, from part 2)

Quotage #2:

Glee celebrates the crooner for the very qualities that masculinist America does not: his alignment with the cultural feminine through his preference for romantic songs and commercial pop, his status as an erotic object for male and female audiences, his beauty and sensitivity, his emotional openness and transparency. And Glee’s producers have cast an actor as Blaine, Darren Criss, whose star persona emphasizes and extends these same qualities to a remarkable degree. Like Kurt/Colfer, Blaine/Criss offers a new model of American male performer, one that goes beyond being gay-and-girl “friendly” to truly embracing a gender-queer performance style and persona. Blaine/Criss retains the sincerity of the crooner even as he performs beyond the boundaries of a fixed or normative gender identity.

(McCracken, part 3)


It's an excellent series (and definitely worth checking out). Beautifully written, wonderful points...I especially loved the historical context McCracken provides; it is strange to see how things have begun, changed, and evolved over the years, how society has changed. There's a lot of stuff, too, that your average grade-school history class leaves out (but this is not the time and place for that discussion).

This is the kind of thing I'm talking about: the wonderful things Glee is doing with gender and stereotypes and other themes and traditions. And it makes me so happy. Bring it on, world.

(Sort of related: My dad told me earlier tonight that he thought Kurt's version of "As If We Never Said Goodbye" was the best version he'd ever heard--and I did a little happy dance because I agree wholeheartedly.)

Yay/Nay for Glee 02x21, “Funeral”

This week's episode was good. There were a few problems with it, but once again, Glee gives us a balance of heartfelt storytelling with the nonsense and humor it's known for. Also, I have a confession. I full-out cried watching it. It was the first time I'd cried watching the show; I get emotional watching any of the episodes, and I've teared up, had a lump in my throat, felt happiness, elation, the pang of anger and despair, etc...but this was the first time that I actually shed tears. It was nowhere near the "reading-the-last-hundred-pages-of-Deathly-Hallows" kind of cry--but still. It was unexpected. I knew I was going to be sad, but I didn't expect this.

As always, beware of spoilers.

Yay: Jesse is such an ASS this week. It's wonderful/annoying/entertaining. I love the way he's written. So freaking clever!!

Yay:...and that includes his preoccupation with treating the auditions as a reality TV show. Hilarious. *claps*

Yay: "...Maybe you could come on Fondue for Two and judge my cat." LOL

Yay: Sue this week. No words. Jane Lynch is AMAZING.

Yay: The return of Rachel's signature star! I've missed it so. Also, slightly unrelated: Mr. Schue's vests. IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME HOW MANY HE HAS.

Yay: Finn taking lead with Kurt and encouraging the others to help Sue out. Finn's a born leader. (And he makes a lot of good points this week. Good for you, Finn. Don't let Jesse's zombie poop comment break you.)

Nay: WHY is Mr. Schue actually going to be in April's show? (This is just me frustrated because he hasn't told New Directions/lied to them about it.)

Yay: The funeral. Oh man. I'm pretty sure that when they open the doors and we see all those people, and the decorations, I was already crying. The heartbreak was palpable. Beautiful...

Yay:...and the Best Song of the week is "Pure Imagination," hands down.

Yay: The auditions. Rachel, Santana, Mercedes, and Kurt all nailed their respective songs. Man oh man, were they good. Rachel's and Mercedes' performances were especially breathtaking. I also loved the fact that each of the songs matched up perfectly with the characters (I'm pretty sure that Kurt singing songs from Gypsy is the greatest thing since sliced bread).

Yay: Did anyone else notice that ridiculously adorable cat picture Jesse drew during Santana's performance?

Nay: What happened to the Finn/Quinn discussion post-funeral? It is SO GOOD until after Finn asks if Quinn if she feels anything, and then it seems to evaporate. You know? (Or am I still in that post-semester haze and/or crazy?)

Yay: ...but I do like how much tension there was in the scene. And I'm glad Finn broke up with her. All Quinn cares about is being prom queen (but I love how her character is obsessed with the idea).

Yay: "Correction: you had feelings for him, he made breakfast on your head."/Sue's Herman and Eddie Munster comment. Best. Lines. This. Episode.

Nay: At the end of the episode, Finn tells Quinn that he's glad she didn't quit glee club. The problem is, she had never mentioned she was thinking about quitting in the first place. (The clip was in the promo, but nowhere to be found in the actual episode.)

Yay: I LOVE when Mercedes drags the mic off stage with her as she storms off after her audition.

Yay: The scene in the nursing home. Again, no words.

Yay: Becky's back on the Cheerios! This was also a great scene.

Yay/Nay/Inbetween: I don't think Sue will ever completely stop trying to bring down the glee club, but I really like the conversation she has with Mr. Schue at the end of the episode. (I also have a theory that Terri will be back despite her apparent move to Florida.)

Nay: POOR FINN! Not cool, Rachel, not cool.

Yay: Perfect way to end the penultimate episode of season 2: Quinn's cryptic promise.

Is it Tuesday yet?

Glee and "Yeah!"

This week's Yay/Nay for "Funeral" will be posted tomorrow (if everything goes as planned--it's been a busy day, and tomorrow is sure to be busy as well)...but I simply could not wait to comment on this.

Behold, the Glee version of Usher's "Yeah!" performed by "a rival glee club." This is the moment in which the 15ish year-old inside of me leaps for joy because this song is awesome, and this version is awesome, and if I were in a club and this came on the speakers, I would lose it. Okay, that's not entirely true: I lose it whenever I hear it regardless of the current location. And granted, it won't ever be as good as the original, but man is it legit.

You know what else I love about it (and about what kinds of things Glee does in general)? The fact that it sounds like it is performed by primarily girls and the song itself is societally deemed to be sung only by a male performer; I'm no expert to speak at length about gender issues, but I am certainly interested in it. It's very much like the Warblers' performing "Bills, Bills, Bills"--the lyrics are not changed (or if at all, the changes are minor). Glee has played with gender issues before (exhibit A being Kurt singing "Defying Gravity" in season one), and I love it. I might have to return to this topic at a later date....hmmm...

Thought Box on "A Love Story Starring My Dead Best Friend"

Thought Box/Review for A Love Story Starring My Dead Best Friend
By Emily Horner

I finished this a month ago and was too overwhelmed with everything else to post about it. But it's here now and that's all that matters. Because I read it quickly, and the details aren't as fresh as they were a few weeks ago, I'm going to do this Thought Box a little differently. (With bulletpoints! Well, to an extent.)*

Anyway: Love Story focuses on Cass, a high schooler who is dealing with the aftermath of the death of her best friend, Julia. (I know it sounds cliche, but trust me: there's a whole lot more to the story than you'd think.) There are two alternating storylines, "Then" and "Now". "Then" follows Cass as she makes her way to California cross-country--by bicycle--to see the ocean, carrying Julia's ashes with her. (Her reason for doing this stems from plans for a California road trip that she and Julia had made before Julia's death.) "Now" focuses on the events post-trip, as Cass helps with the tech crew for the production of "Totally Sweet Ninja Death Squad," the musical Julia had been working on before she died. Cass finds herself dealing with her grief in different and similar ways as the rest of the cast, and also working closely with Heather, the girl who made her life a living hell in elementary and middle school. As time goes on, and the more she and Heather deal with the reality of their mutual past, Cass finds herself falling for her.

The first thing you have to understand about this book is that it flows in a very different manner than one might expect. There was a specific reason I read it so quickly--it's EXCELLENT. The two storylines are brilliantly balanced, alternating by chapter. The action in each seems to mirror one another; as if something that happens in "Now" reminds Cass of the events in "Then" that had happened just months before, and we see it because she remembers it. We see the two versions of Cass grow simultaneously and it's really quite beautiful. Sometimes this kind of back-and-forth storyline does not work (i.e. "The Summer I Turned Pretty," which I found to be confusing past patience), but it really does here. It's clear that Horner took great care to weave the two stories together in a way that best suited Cass's journey. Beautiful, beautiful stuff.

Cass does a LOT of growing up throughout the novel, and I think it's interesting that she almost has TWO coming-of-age revelations because of the events in each storyline. We see Cass really coming to terms with both Julia's passing in "Then" and her sexuality, having her first kiss with a male bass player at a hotel she finds herself in the early morning, and then soon after having her first real relationship with a girl she meets in Missouri. But then there's an interesting of mix of these things PLUS her still-very-strong grief PLUS her discomfort and clashing with Oliver and the other drama kids, who are dealing with their own grief.

In "Now," we see the tail-end of the former clashing with the others, but more importantly Cass dealing with the past she has had with Heather and how she is beginning to feel and see her differently. I loved reading their interactions; Heather has a particular way of speaking with Cass, and I was fascinated with the way in which Cass would respond to her. (It's hard to put into words; they are simultaneously in tune with one another while also being on completely different wavelengths.) There are some important things we discover about Heather as well, and their complicated relationship continues to complicate itself as the story continues.

But wait, there's more! (And it's good!) One thing that runs pretty steadily throughout both storylines is Cass coming to terms with her feelings for Julia. It's marvelous to see Cass working through all of these intertwined emotions because thy are so multi-dimensional....I laughed as she sticks her head out of a hotel window to yell up at the sky, informing her dead best friend that she'd had her first kiss. I found myself wrapped up in the emotions as she yells toward the ocean near the end of the novel...so many moments very much like these.

A few other things I loved: Cass' growing collection of trinkets as she makes her journey cross-country, the fact she rode a BICYCLE (heck yes!), she and her parents are Quakers, nerd jokes galore, LGBT characters (Props to Jon, Cass, and Heather), believable and non-cliche depictions of grief and its effects, the ending of the "Then" storyline--both brilliant and unexpected--and, among many other things, a musical about FREAKIN' NINJAS, complete with gore and catapults and all other cool props.

If I had any criticisms (and believe me, they are few), it would be that sometime it was hard to follow dialog. I sometimes had to count back to keep track of who was speaking, and some of of the important elements of the plot, etc. were hard to keep track of at first--but then again, I did read the book quickly...

I think what it really comes down to is the character of Cass, because she's what's really driving this story. She's a strong protagonist, and throughout the novel, you can't help but feel the emotion right along with her. I'm keeping my eye out for any future novels that Horner puts out. I know they will be just as beautiful as this one. 

*So my apologies if this post seems jumbled and fragmented. Future Thought Boxes will be easier to follow, I promise.

Katniss=Badass

It's funny how positive everyone's being about this--and I'm glad that people have taken the time not to whine, but truly appreciate what we've been given. Entertainment Weekly has posted the first image of Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss.

And it is badass. Katniss is badass. (And seeing this makes the movie real, you know? As in, the fact that we're going to be able to see this film on the big screen is legitimate.) Excitement!

Graham Little, "Daffodil Shoe Lady"

For the Human Form and Composition class I'm taking this intersession, we had to look at a few artists of our choosing (master or no, old or contemporary) from which we are to incorporate elements, styles, techniques, etc into our own exploration of depicting/presenting the figure. Because I'm bad at making a single choice, I decided to pull from two or more artists (because I'm doing that kind of thing anyway with my own work). Two of my favorites artists I looked up again were Caravaggio and Degas, but I felt like I should look at some contemporary figurative artists as well.

The third I chose was Graham Little, a British artist who works in colored pencil (!!!). I googled his work to refresh my memory and found this piece:

I can't stop looking at it. I LOVE IT. Also, for some inexplicable reason, all I can think about when I look at it is Tennyson's "The Lady of Shalott." (Which, incidentally, is one of my favorite poems and the inspiration for another of my favorite paintings.)

Karofsky in "Prom Queen"

Deconstructing Glee points out and expands on Karofsky in last week's episode....and I have to say I agree. Really, really good stuff. They also counter a couple of criticisms of various storylines that have popped up since then.

Brilliant, brilliant points.

(More later. Back to class.)

The End of Another Semester

The last two weeks have been a blur; my concentration started waning at the end of April, and since then it has been hard to focus on anything. I was tired of thinking so hard about everything--only because I have the tendency to over-think everything. A combination of drawing-related distress over concept and imagery mixed with general exhaustion and an abnormal schedule was too much to deal with at times, and I was worried that it would ruin my desire to continue with my double major. I was tired of dealing with my indecision and lack of motivation, eager to find a way to meld my love for writing and drawing together in a way that did not follow the expected path, and in such a way that I could grow. I don't remember ever being this lost and upset when it came to school. But that was then, and I made it out of this stressful year alive. In retrospect, I realize that I might have been a tad harsh on myself. I still have time to figure this out. I can only get to the finish line after making the journey, and I have a lot of growing and experimenting yet to go. Next year will be better. I know it. 

Last weekend, Alisha and I had the great pleasure to attend the Digitour 2011 in Lawrence, where we met various members of StarKidPotter, the very talented people behind the genius that is "A Very Potter Musical" and the shows that followed it. The thing I loved about being there was the sense of nerdish freedom and fun that surrounded us. All of the performers, including Dave Days, Nice Peter, etc, were 'regular people' who enjoyed sharing their own kind of awesome with the rest of the world. And granted, it was worth every minute to see StarKid, but it was super awesome to see everyone else as well. I loved every moment of it. It's hard to fully describe the feeling of joy we had during those 6 hours+. And as cliche as it may sound, unforgettable. 

Since finishing up with finals and such on Friday, I've been at home spending time with family. Yesterday was my cousin Brad's wedding, and it was beautiful. He looked quite dapper, and Jessica, his fiancee (now wife, hooray!), looked beautiful. Weddings always make me cry, and yesterday was no different. When Jess made her way down the aisle, when she and Brad exchanged vows....everything about it sent me into a fit of emotion. I'm so glad I was able to be there. Another plus of the day was definitely spending time with my mom's side of the family, something I hadn't been able to do since Christmas. I missed them so much; their humor and love and everything I love about them enveloped the day completely. I was very sad when Dad and I had to head back to Kansas. 

It's been a good couple of days. I need days like this, days in which I can simply be and spend time with family, handling things as they come instead of being on a tight schedule. At this moment, Dad and I are watching Deathly Hallows Part 1, as is our Watching-Harry-Potter-when-I-am-home tradition. It's been weird the last few days--it hasn't really sunk it that it's officially summer vacation, and I'm not really surprised because the first of my two summer classes starts tomorrow. And though I have to head back to school in the next few hours, at this moment, everything feels right with the world. In the last two days, I've had the chance to see my sister and meet her boyfriend (of whom I approve); caught up with my mom, filling her in on everything that has happened in the last month; talked music, life, and memories with my dad; seen and celebrated with my cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents; cuddled with my cats Angus and Naomi; and immersed myself in the Tale of the Three Brothers, hanging out with my dad. Simplicity, serenity. Things are pretty good at the moment. 

Yay/Nay for Glee 02x20, “Prom Queen”

Words cannot fully describe the power this week's episode held, the kind of power in the same vein as "Born This Way" but on a smaller scale. Major kudos to the creators; it was as flawed as any of the other episode, but boy, was it packed with a fire only character and plot development can ignite. This week's episode I felt was on par with "Born This Way", "Laryngitis", "Wheels", etc. This is definitely one of my favorites of the season, and an extremely important episode overall.

Nay: The pacing was a little funky at the very beginning. The choppiness didn't last very long, however. I felt the last half of the episode flowed very well once they'd set everything up. It just took awhile.

Yay: Sue's Going-Away gift for Mr. Schue. It sent me into a fit of giggles for a long time. Also the punch bowl story.

Yay: Mercedes, Sam, and Rachel's Prom-On-A-Budget. LOVE. That's how it's done. And I think it's true to how prom is treated in the Midwest. (Or close to it, anyway. It's awesome to get creative, and all three of them looked great.)

Yay: The Prom Gown Dry Run. This scene was hilarious. e. g. "Go with God, Satan--Santana."

Yay: Have I mentioned how much I love it when they show the students in other classes and such? I thought the home economics scene was one of the best of the episode. It was funny, it was sweet....and the acting was really strong. I'm also pleased, though it made me feel very sad for Artie, that Brittany called him out for what he did to her. This shows us a lot about Brittany's character.

Yay: The music this week. Every song was seamless, integrated perfectly into the flow of the episode, and so much was said beyond the action, lyrics and lines that bookended them. Nicely done. (Especially "Jar of Hearts" and "I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You." LOVE the tension from Finn's jealousy.)

Yay: The scene at Kurt and Finn's house. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE. Kurt's prom outfit? Wonderful. I'm glad he was defiant about wearing it, because it is awesome and he has every right to wear it. One thing I've been thinking about since watching the episode on Tuesday: I understand the concern that Burt had and that Blaine seconded about Kurt's desire to be himself at prom, because people can be cruel. But it really sucks that Kurt would have to consider not being himself in order to "please" the general face of society. (More on this later.) Anyway, this scene was another really strong one.

Yay: Karofsky. This is what I'm talking about when I talk about how awesomely three dimensional the characters are.

(Kind of) Nay: Jesse's back, and he's still an ass. (I love Jonathan Groff--and he plays Jesse so well.)

Not sure whether to count this as a Yay or Nay: Rebecca Black's "Friday". Personally, I HATE the song. But honestly, I didn't really think much about it when watching it because at prom, no one really cares what's playing. I remember from the proms I went to that I didn't mind if they played a song I didn't like. I'd either sit down for it, or sing along anyway, because no one cared that it was bad. They recognized it and if they could dance to it, that's all that mattered. And really, it DOES NOT MATTER if it was on Glee or not. It's just a song, it's part of pop culture, and it does not have much effect on the episode either way.

Yay: Kurt and Blaine this episode. Blaine's Sadie Hawkins' story was heart-wrenching. And Kurt's excitement and naivety about Prom was both wonderful and made me hate even more how everyone nearly ruined it for him. But the grand moment in which Blaine, who had been so concerned for their safety, stepped forward and asked Kurt to dance was beautiful. I love Deconstructing Glee's thoughts on this and Kurt's speech right before he returns to the gym. Good on ya, Kurt and Blaine. You deserve a slow dance together, all the time, forever.

Yay: YAY MERCEDES HAD A GOOD PROM!!! (Now, let's see more storylines for her!)

Yay/Nay on the real-life situation: Kurt as the elected Prom Queen. This is something I'd like to write on further, because there are a lot of important things this plot point addresses. (Deconstructing Glee makes a lot of good points about this as well, though I agree to disagree on some.) I thought they handled this really, really well. The look on Kurt's face, that one bastard who cheered, the hateful looks, the other bastard who slow clapped....hugely, hugely powerful. Chris Colfer is a brilliant actor, and the scene in the hallway between Blaine and Kurt is my favorite from this episode. The thing that kills me is that this is something that could really happen, and I'm sure has in some form. It breaks my heart to think of anyone being harassed or teased for being themselves, looking or thinking a certain way, or for being "different." And I get angry when it comes to close-minded people making assumptions about others who challenge the norm. In elementary through early high school, I was teased for being fat, etc., and I hated when my friends were looked down upon for anything that the general public deemed unworthy. The example of the homophobia that Kurt faces on a daily basis gets my blood boiling because he--or anyone for that matter--should not have to be discriminated against because of who they're attracted to, or what they believe, or the color of their skin, or anything that makes them unique. But society will work as it does, and as Kurt points out: "...All that hate: they were just afraid to say it out loud. So they did it by secret ballot." It's awful what people can do, but I am so, so glad that Glee is addressing it. And they have handled it brilliantly in all forms, whether it was simply a slushie facial or something as cruel as WMHS's display of homophobia. This is important stuff, here: our lives, who we are, are reflected in the stories these characters have to tell.

Yay: The immediate aftermath of the Prom Queen announcement. Brilliantly presented, Glee. Brittany's speech to Santana. I also love how Quinn apologizes to Rachel after she slaps her.

Nay: Did anyone else feel that Sue's attempt to keep Artie as a POW was slightly anticlimactic? I mean, it was hilarious, but....

Yay: "...that they can't touch me. That they can't touch us, or what we have." and "Eat your heart out, Kate Middleton." I cheered. Kudos to Kurt. That'll show them.

Yay: The final number, "Dancing Queen". Such a great ending. First with Kurt and Blaine dancing, then everyone else joining in, all lost in the moment of joy, and the final montage of prom pictures....Brilliant, Glee. I love it.

Seventy-Six Trombones*

To be honest, I don't remember a lot about my freshman year of high school. I didn't go to any dances that year that I remember, and I was not involved in drama club until my sophomore year, and I think what I did was spend a lot of time at home reading. (I think the terror of junior high needed a year from which to recover because it was so awful).

I remember few details about the year; reading Animal Farm, The Butterfly Revolution (both of which I hated) and Romeo and Juliet (my real introduction to Shakespeare, and I enjoyed it very much) in English, drawing like mad in Art, that blasted ink drawing that took me forever and a day to finish, the map project thing at Alcove Spring, bits and pieces of computers class, and marching band. Everything else is out of my memory--or at least so buried that it would take a lot of thinking/asking around to bring it to the surface. I don't think I kept a journal at all that year and I wish I had so that I could have something to reference from.

Anyway, I didn't actually realize this fully until today before the lunch shift, when Sara and I were talking about marching band and I was telling her all the stuff I loved and hated about it during the two years I was a part of it.

My band teacher's crazy bipolar/out of control temper (and the fact that he was the reason I gave up band for Art) aside, I loved marching band. There was something about the sound**, the horns mixed with the drumline, the cadences, the hats, the everything that made it worth my while. To walk out onto the field, the lights bright in the halftime twilight...To this day, I love watching the marching band at any high school/college football games.

I did remember one little detail today that I had forgotten about. Since band was the first class of the day, we were to meet out on the practice field and be ready to start at the beginning of class. Since marching band took place in the fall, the sun would rise later and later as the semester progressed. When we'd get to the other side of the track where the field was located, everything seemed gray, ethereal, with a kind of fog some mornings. As the sun creeped over the hill that towered over the east side of the field, the grass would "grow" greener and the fog absorbed into nothing, the shadow retreating into the base of the hill. In the space of one hour, we were illuminated.

Perhaps it's a little over the top, but it always made my day. The simple things in life, you know?

*Have you seen "The Music Man" (the 1962 version)? If not, you should. Right now.

**Which explains part of the reason that my favorite Glee cover to this day is this song, because, you know, Kurt and Mercedes rock it out and they have the WMHS marching band to accompany them. Such a great version.

Yay/Nay for Glee 02x19, “Rumours”

I am a tad later than I had wanted to be with this, but better late than never! This week's episode was pretty mellow in terms of action, but there was a lot of great, heavy character stuff. 

As always, spoilers ahead.

Yay: Artie's conversation with Brittany. Great character moments for both of them, and I kinda felt a punch in the gut when Artie asks, "God, Brittany, why are you so stupid?" 

Yay: The scene at the beginning of the episode, when Finn and Santana call out Sam and Brittany, respectively. I thought the acting was really strong here, and the tension high (and it successfully carries out throughout the rest of episode).

Yay: The music this week was wonderful; it melded fabulously with the plot and helped make the episode brilliantly cohesive. I'm not too familiar with Fleetwood Mac, so this was the first time I'd heard at least half of them. (I think I'll slip into Hastings one of these days and get the original album. Really great stuff.) My favorite was Artie's solo, the one with all the acoustic guitars. Well chosen, Glee. I like the idea of basing an episode off an album. If they decide to do this kind of thing again, and it's as good as this was, I'm all for it. 

Yay: Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhh Quinn's attitude this week. I don't necessarily agree with her reasons and her bitchery, but I really like how she has fleshed out as a character since the beginning of this season, where she seemed so...unQuinn-like. I love how tangible her frustration, etc. was during the episode.

Nay: That look of sadness/indecision/general [insert grand emotion here] that Mr. Schue had on his face when New Directions were performing the last song. It made me nervous. I want to know what he was thinking....

Yay: There's a reason Finn and Rachel are such a good team. I love that it was both of them, together, going to talk to Sam at the end of the episode. (Yay co-captainship!)

Nay: Finn and Quinn singing together. There is also a reason for this. There's a lack of spark. (I did like how there was tension during the song, however.) 

Yay: Finn and Quinn's relationship. Is it me, or do we see some serious unhinging? 

Yay: Lord Tubbington's debut on Fondue For Two. He is ridiculously awesome. 

Yay: Sue Sylvester as David Bowie and Anne Coulter.

Nay: Can we please have more Mercedes? I feel like we've been deprived of her for ages....

Yay: Thank you, Glee, for having more on Sam. And it was an awesome story line (cool points go to Sam, Kurt, and Quinn for Being Awesome). 

Yay: All the stuff with Santana. Awesome times a billion. 

There's more, tons more that was awesome about this episode. I loved the fact everything was so smooth: the story flowed well, the characters were in tune with one another, the tension and feeling that everything would collapse at any moment....I found myself caught up in the drama, the lies, the rumors....strong episode. As for next week,  it's Prom! *pulls out dancing shoes*

Today I Feel...

We have a magnet on our fridge with a list of different emotions with matching pictures. There is a second magnet that can be moved around on top of the list with a little window that frames the desired emotion.

The emotion that has been displayed for the last week has been "Overwhelmed".

Complaints about end of the semester projects aside, today's song is this.

As today was one of those I'm-Going-To-Skip-Every-Song-On-My-iPod-Because-I'm-Having-A-Bad-Day days, I went through half my playlist without listening to a single song all the way through. When the Glee version of this came on (I don't yet have the original), however, I let it play. I'm not sure what about it deemed it worthy of my bad mood, but the lyrics are brilliant and that is one mean guitar.