Saturday, December 31, 2011

One of Those Cliche End of 2011 Posts...

I think this year was one of the only years that I slept soundly Christmas Eve. I woke up once during the night when I heard the ringing of a bell, and though I knew it was not what I thought it was, there was a brief moment in which I wondered if, after all those years, I'd finally had some kind of evidence of Santa Claus. The semi-concious mind is a fascinating thing.

A lot has happened in the last year. I became a proud godmother. I have settled into the Tiny Blue Room. I read some of my poetry in Pittsburgh, PA, where Jessica, Kelsey, Laura and I hung out with other English majors, basked in all things English-y, and ate sandwiches topped with french fries. I discovered a lot about drawing and what it means to me personally and in my work. I've thought a lot about the future, and in the process learned a lot about myself and how I want to live my life. I went to see the final HP movie with my sister and my best friends. I was sorted into Ravenclaw on Pottermore. I tried my hand at nonfiction and found another mode of expression that I connected to, learning many things about myself in the process. I completed the requirements for both my French minor and English major. I am three art classes away from graduation. And I started this blog.

I have a lot of thoughts. But now is not the time.

Favorite Books Read in 2011

  • Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins
  • The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
  • The Sky Is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson
  • The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick

The Jury Is Still Out Award 2011
  • Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins (Thoughtbox coming soon...)
  • I Kissed A Girl, 3x07 of Glee

Favorite Glee Episodes Aired in 2011
  • Silly Love Songs 2x12
  • Born This Way 2x18
  • Prom Queen 2x20
  • I Am Unicorn 3x02
  • Asian F 3x03
  • The First Time 3x05


The Television Cool Point Award 2011
  • Every single episode of Modern Family, one of my favorite shows ever. 
  • The First Time, for many reasons.

Favorite Movies 
  • Super 8
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
  • Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Music (does not mean it has to have been released this year...)
  • Florence + The Machine, "Ceremonials"
  • Alanis Morissette, "Jagged Little Pill"
  • Madonna, "Madonna"
  • Lady Gaga, "Born This Way"
  • Coldplay, "A Rush of Blood to the Head"
  • Panic! At The Disco, "Vices and Virtues"
  • Freelance Whales, "Weathervanes"
  • Jessie J, "Who You Are"
  • Adele, both "19" and "21"

See you in 2012. I'm off to knit and continue with my Glee marathon to ring in the New Year.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Happy Christmas (early)

We're leaving for my grandparents' house tomorrow afternoon, and I'm not sure if I'll have internet access while we're there over the weekend, so here's a little note of Christmas tidings while I still have the opportunity. I've been relaxing a lot over the last week, spending time with my sister, knitting (rather poorly, I might add), watching a lot of movies, and sleeping. I've tried to give myself a general break from everything. I'll post more once we're back after the weekend is up. It's been nice to just be for awhile, but I know I have to get back on track soon because of my ever-growing list of things to do during the break....

Christmas is my favorite holiday. I love the joy, I love the love that seems to travel around, I love the music, and I love the tradition (and non-tradition) of it all. I especially love the story of the Nativity, and how simple and complex and wondrous it is. And the angels! Nearly everything about Christmas is special to me. I also love how Christmas takes place around the time of Hanukkah and Kwanzaa and New Years. Happy Holidays indeed.

I have a lot of really good memories that I associate with this time of year, and all of them--good and bad--mean a lot to me one way or another. My favorite Christmas movies include the Charlie Brown Christmas special (anyone catch the reference in Glee's Christmas episode last week? So awesome.), It's A Wonderful Life, and White Christmas. I tend to associate Harry Potter with Christmas--even though it is appropriate any time of the year, there's just something about it around Christmas that makes it seem extra special. I love the memories I have of being up at my grandparents' house, because the experience itself is so much what Christmas has become for me. It doesn't totally feel like Christmas to me when we're not there. I mean, I know that things will change--and have already changed--but the feeling, the joy, I think, will remain the same.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Kwanzaa. Whatever it is that you do to celebrate these wintery months, much love and joyous tidings to you and your family.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Quick Thoughts, Glee 3x08 "Hold On To Sixteen"

THIS WEEK. (More soon. But for now...)

Linkage: A really intriguing theory from Letters From Titan concerning a possible Blaine backstory, as well as Deconstructing Glee's response. This analysis has some really valid points, and it kind of blows my mind. But while I can see this as a possibility, I don't necessarily think it's going to happen. I saw Blaine's reaction to Sam's suggestion as similar to his reaction to Kurt telling him what happened at Nationals--while Blaine is very comfortable with his sexuality, he also feels there is a time and place for it. You know? It's "professionalism." Finally, a few more thoughts from DG on the episode, some really beautiful thoughts on Blaine's character development from Caroline of "be you and hold on to it." One thing I am absolutely positive of is how much more I adore Blaine this season than in Season 2--and I'm much more invested in Blaine's character now he's at McKinley.

  • "I also started the Dalton branch of Fight Club, which I obviously can't talk about." OMG. DYING. See?!
  • "You smell like Craig's List."/"Oh my God, it's the Gerber Baby!" KURT YOU ARE MY FAVORITE. 
  • I don't think Brittany was ever that invested in the Troubletones--she misses New Directions too much. 
  • Sam's back! *does happy dance* I was talking with Alisha about it earlier this evening, and we both agree that he seems different from when we last saw him at the end of Season 2. I'm interested to see where s3 takes him. 
  • I absolutely LOVED Sam's reaction when he realized that it was Rachel holding out the dollar. 
  • While she is mostly irritating, I am still intrigued by Quinn's storyline this season. Though it seemed pretty tied up by the end of the episode, I feel like the writers have a little more up their sleeve. 
  • Is it too much to see what's on the inside of Blaine's locker? I just want to know. I'm a sucker for detail. 
  • I absolutely hate Sebastian. And Grant Gustin plays him so well. 
  • I was furious at Sebastian's "gay face" comment.
  • I love that Kurt and Blaine have rant sessions at the Lima Bean.
  • You know, as much as I'm not a fan of country music, "Red Solo Cup" was a lot of fun. 
  • New Direction's Jackson song set for Sectionals was probably the best competition performance thus far--and my new favorite. I'm thinking the Booty Camp paid off. 
  • I'm so psyched that most of New Directions had some sort of solo at Sectionals. I am really glad that ND was able to succeed as they did despite Rachel's absence. They work best as a whole. 
  • I loved Rachel's bouts of wisdom this week. 
  • Mike and Tina this week: no words. <3
  • Harmony delightfully terrifies me. 
  • Artie cracks me up. 
  • Sooooooo much character development for Blaine.... 
  • I loved watching background!Kurt this week. <3 
  • MY HEART. SAM AND MERCEDES.
  • The image of Santana following Finn around with a tuba is incredibly hilarious to me. 
  • The Troubletones' performance was AMAZING. Santana and Brittany dancing!!!! And that shot of the group in the empty auditorium was really powerful for me. 
  • "We Are Young" = off the hook amazing...
More later. Off to read for French. 

Saturday, December 3, 2011

The Weekend Before Dead Week

I'm tired. I'm annoyed that I feel like I've learned very little in my art history class because of the online lectures--a structure I don't do well with. I want to write more nonfiction but I have to wait until I have other things finished first. I feel like my French Lit teacher thinks I'm an idiot because I have a hard time speaking in French (I don't have time to think it out in my head), even though he probably doesn't. I have a lot of drawing stuff to do before Wednesday and because I don't have any kind of studio space in which to work, I'm having a hard time motivating myself to do anything at the house because I have to work in the dining room and there's TV and my roommates are usually here...

I've discovered as time goes on that I feel very uncomfortable with other people in the room when I'm drawing. It's like someone reading over your shoulder. I can feel the eyes on the drawing.

I've always had that discomfort, though. I'm fine in studio classes when we're drawing as a group until someone comes to walk around to see what everyone else is doing--that's when I get nervous and I feel my arm--and the mark-making--become really stiff. When I make rounds, I can't stand in one place too long because I don't want to do that to anyone else.

Perhaps all the time I spent holed up at home in my room in high school turned me off to any sort of ability to handle any normal social interaction. My extreme lack of confidence with drawing doesn't help, either.

But enough worrying and stressing. Linkage of interest:

First, this beautiful, wonderful ad.

Second, this video celebrating the awesomeness of free speech with quite a few awesome authors (including Sarah Dessen and John Green *cue major fangirling*).

Things I Need to Do Before Christmas:

  • finish my Christmas shopping
  • make serious headway in my Nano novel, considering I haven't touched it in a month
  • clean the Tiny Blue Room, because everything's pell mell at this point
  • reread The Outsiders (which I've been meaning to do for a long time)
  • finish the last few things of schoolwork I need to do before the end of the semester on the 16th
  • do some hardcore studying for my French final
  • get my hair cut (or something...)
Two more weeks. I have to keep reminding myself that there's only two weeks left. 

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Quick Thoughts, Glee 3x07, "I Kissed A Girl"

Okay. So as soon as the semester's over, I'm going to go more in depth with all the episodes I haven't been able to talk about yet. But for right now, this'll have to do.

I have a lot of love for last night's episode--and I am a firm believer that this season is kick-ass and each episode gets progressively better--but there are a few things I wasn't sure about among the things I adored.

First, linkage: Some really incredible thoughts on Santana and Beiste in relation to feminism, as well as a few more thoughts from Deconstructing Glee responding to Dorothy Snarker's thoughts, also regarding similar issues. And then, of course, SillyGleek guest-blogging on DG with what is essentially an open letter to the characters as of the end of the episode. Preach!

Some quick thoughts:

  • I am a firm believer that despite the issues brought up in the first two links (with which I agree), Finn had his heart in the right place with the lesson. Finn is not an inconsiderate (insert adjective here) person. (This also goes for his outing of Santana.) He's 17/18 years old. He has flaws. I don't expect him to understand everything about the world at this point. He's slowly learning, and that's all I can hope for. Don't forget about how far he's come since Season 1. 
  • Mike Chang is love. He was my favorite in the voting booth montage. 
  • What the bloody hell is up with Puck's mohawk?! Did anyone else notice that it's long enough to part at the crown of his head?!
  • I can't really wrap my head around Cooter and Sue's "history." Did anyone else find that out of the blue, or am I just slow at putting the pieces together? Mostly I'm frustrated because Coach Beiste a) deserves some kind of happiness but b) Cooter was kind of a douche to her and also because c) the points so beautifully stated in the tumblr post I linked to above. Don't let Beiste lose her awesomeness. Please. I beg you. 
  • Mercedes....I pine for the time you and Kurt were BFFs. (I do think it's interesting that there is a kind of shift in the relationship, though. Friendships will change over the years.)
  • SHELBY. WHY? SERIOUSLY. This is so messed up. *throws up hands* And while we're on the subject...
  • PUCK. WTF IS GOING ON WITH YOU? And most especially, WHY DID YOU TELL QUINN?! UGH. Things are going to get worse. Remember Pacey Witter from Dawson's Creek? This is serious stuff.  
  • I don't think I could ever hate Brittany in a million years. 
  • Santana was especially cruel this episode. I wanted to smack her for her reaction to Kurt and Blaine singing to her. But...
  • I also wanted to punch the guy who wanted to make her "normal." Society is messed up. If one considers the way that Kurt was bullied and mistreated, the way the world (or in this case, WMHS) is treating Santana is both similar and different, but just as awful. I was disgusted. Not cool, society. 
  • Also, the scene in which Santana comes out to her abuela made me want to bawl my eyes out. I just want Santana to be happy and have the support she needs from the ones she loves. :(
  • Rachel can be very frustrating sometimes, but I still love her as a character, and I was so proud that she admitted to Principal Figgins that she was the one to stuff the ballot box. 
  • Kurt's voiceover in the voting booth: "If I lose, I don’t have a chance of getting into NYADA. It’s not fair. The difference between my dreams coming true and managing a Sonic Burger depends on how many people check a stupid box." This killed me. Sonic Burger... *cries* I hope you get in. And I agree with SillyGleek's guest post: you have a whole bunch of kick-ass credentials. Don't give up!! (More on this and Finn's similar concerns about the future at a later date. This is an important thread this season.)
  • Kurt and Blaine this episode, from "Perfect" to their little moments. They're just so supportive and in tune with one another. I love them so much. Always and forever, they are amazing. <3 (I love SillyGleek's comments to Blaine. YES SO MUCH SO. Hehe.)
More as soon as I get the chance. It was a great episode.

Edit: Also, I hope Kurt knows that, if he is not accepted into NYADA, there are other options in NY and elsewhere. I just want him to find a place he can be happy and fulfill his dreams. You know? 

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Gratitude

This may be a little cliche to do, but I think there's something really special (and important) in celebrating the things that make us happy, healthy, and safe. It is Thanksgiving, after all. (Though, as my friend Melissa pointed out on Facebook this morning, we should be thankful everyday rather than saving it for one day a year.) Thus.

I'm thankful for my family. They mean so much to me, and I am truly blessed. When I am home, it is for them.

I am thankful for my sister's sense of humor. She knows exactly what to say to make things not so bad. She and I have the same kind of sense of humor. I am also thankful that she laughs at my jokes, because I know I'm not that funny.

I am thankful for God's love in many ways.

I am thankful for books and art. What kind of a person would I be without them?

I am thankful that my health has been good.

I am thankful for my open-mindedness.

I am thankful for Coca-Cola, Milky Way bars, Arby's/Hardees curly fries, and Cranberry Limeades.

I am thankful for the opportunities I've had in my life to travel. They have been few, but worthwhile all the same.

I am thankful for The Westing GameHarriet the Spy, and the many Nancy Drew mysteries I read in elementary school, because they helped me to appreciate a good mystery.

I am thankful for the ability to drive around the Little Apple without being too nervous. I haven't quite overcome my fear of driving completely, but I'm getting there.

I am thankful for Oldies and 60s British Invasion rock 'n' roll. But mostly I'm thankful for my dad's excellent taste in music. I couldn't have asked for a better kind of music to grow up with.

Though it has been hard, and not to mention emotionally taxing, I am thankful that the drought of any romance in my life has allowed me to seriously consider what I'd like in a relationship and understand my stance on many things.

I am thankful for my mother and her perseverance, creativity, and compassion. I learn more and more from her everyday.

I am thankful for the things I have learned from our trips to Michigan, and most especially the memories they left with me. It has been a long time since my grandparents (my dad's parents) passed away, but I think of them almost every single day.

I am thankful for the tradition and love from my mom's side of the family. My grandparents have been married 60 years, and they are the heart of my mom's large family. I feel very blessed to be a part of it.

I am thankful that I decided to pick up and read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone in sixth grade.

I am thankful for writing and the joy I get from it. The power of the story is kind of awesome. And, in a way, it kind of saved my life.

I'm thankful for college. It is one of the best things that have happened to me. I have learned so much and in so many different ways, and I have changed so much from the person I was five years ago. I feel like I'm finally me.

I'm thankful for authentic Mexican food and authentic Indian food. I am also thankful for my grandmother's spaghetti, my mom's pasty, and cheesecake.

I am thankful for Glee, Star Wars, and the Georgia Nicolson series.

I am thankful that John Keats (and all related British Romantic poets), W.B. Yeats, William Shakespeare, Emily Dickinson, Walt Whitman, Jane Austen, Sarah Dessen, John Green, Maureen Johnson, and J.K. Rowling all decided to write stuff down.

I am thankful for movies. I am also thankful for movie theaters (though not the raising ticket prices). I am especially thankful for Steven Spielberg and Focus Features.

I am thankful for 80s music and 80s movies.

I am thankful for music and concerts. Especially the trip I took with Brandi and Cassie last year to Kansas City, where we went to Warped Tour and then Lady Gaga's Monster Ball within the course of 48 hours. It was incredible.

I am thankful for my friends. My friendships have, and always will be, extremely important to me. I love my friends dearly. I'm very blessed.

There will always be things to be thankful for, and this list certainly doesn't cover everything. Happy Thanksgiving.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Reconsidering "Breaking Dawn Part 1"

So I went to see BD again with Heidi and Brandon. I hoped that with my initial hard-headedness out of the way, that I'd be able to look at the movie with as unbiased an opinion as possible. And the experience was a little better, so that's good.

I'm sure that Eclipse is still my favorite of all of the movies that have been released so far. BD didn't quite live up to the third one for me, but after giving it some thought and consideration, I think part 2 will be a likely contender if they treat it right. We'll see.

I don't like the score for Part 1. The soundtrack itself is awesome--they really know how to put together a killer soundtrack for the Twilight films, and they never disappoint--but I feel the same way about the score in this movie as I did for the first one. It just sounds off to me, and it's hard for me to explain.

I still really like the wedding and honeymoon on Isle Esme. The post-preggers realization half of the film is alright (and I'm feeling a lot better about it now than I was the first time). I am positive that my confusion with how they treated the Quileute storyline is a wish that they'd spent a little more time with it. I mean, I can't remember if there was much more with them in the book, but I felt like there was more time spent with the wolf side because we were able to dive into Jacob's POV. I still wish they'd included more of Leah's story in the movie, because it allows for more insight into the complications of these characters and the situations they are in. Leah's take on being a part of the pack is incredibly different from that of the others because she's one of (if not the only) woman to have the responsibility of being a wolf in the pack. (And isn't she unable to have children because of it? Or am I remembering wrong?) Even if they'd had more wolf telepathy....

And speaking of the wolf telepathy, I'm not a fan. Brandon used the term "cartoonish" to describe it, and I thought that was pretty accurate. I think it's the way they did the voices....I'm having a hard time trying to put it into words.

Leah, I thought, was awesome. I just wish she'd had more. Jasper didn't have a lot this time around either, and I wish he had more.

I've decided I don't mind the inside the body stuff. The graphics are really good, and I like how you can see the venom spread.

I still have a few logistical concerns about the story and plot lines, but they're minor and mostly relate to the book. I love the book to pieces, but it's not perfect.

The acting was really good this time around, and I feel the acting from everyone has improved with each movie.

How awesome was Maggie Grace as Irina? I realized tonight that, if I remember correctly, the Denali clan reappears again to help prepare for the arrival of the Volturi in the second half. I'm glad we get to see more of her. She's awesome.

I've had issues here and there throughout all of the Twilight movies with the screenwriting. It's so awkward sometimes, though definitely not all the time. I thought the first scene where Jacob sees Bella with child for the first time was that kind of moment for me in this film. I know it's probably pretty close to the book, but I wish it didn't come off so strange. Work with it a little. You know?

Emmett will always be awesome to me. He cracks me up so much.

I got really excited for part 2 when the movie ended this second viewing. I don't necessarily feel that part 1 can successfully stand on its own as a film, but I do feel that if they do part 2 right, they might be able to pull it off. It definitely feels like a part of something bigger--but it needs that other half to be fully appreciated. I think my favorite bit of the story is after Bella becomes a vampire, and the entire time through part 1 all I could think about was "Remember that time when Bella became a bamf vampire? That was a good time." I'm eager to see that side of her.

I'm still kind of on the fence with the movie as a whole, but I feeling better about it than I was.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Points of Interest for 22 November, 2011

So. Have you seen the new made-of-awesome Hunger Games trailer? I have soooooo much love for it. Effie! The Capitol! Peeta! Gale! Katniss volunteering! Cinna! Caesar Flickerman! Rue! My heart! And March seems like such a long ways away....

The Leaky Cauldron has posted links to part one and part two of a documentary called "When Harry Left Hogwarts" (from one of the special Blu-rays of DHp2...I think). It's beautiful, and I have few words.

Finally, I highly recommend the Loudspeaker podcast, which is also made of awesome. (It's amazing. It really is.)

Have I mentioned how much I love having a break from things for a bit? I am currently watching Chamber of Secrets (Harry and Ron are just about to change back into themselves after taking Polyjuice potion), taking a quick breather from planning a drawing strategy for my final drawing project. This morning, Mom and I made a quick trip to Lincoln to do a little Christmas shopping, and I found a little something for Heidi and my goddaughter Emilyn. I also now own my very first pair of Birkenstocks. I feel like I've achieved some sort of right-of-passage wearing them. Is that weird?

When I have time to really think through things...I'm just really thankful for this week off. I really needed it.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Nanowrimo Attempt #3, Day 3 of Thanksgiving/Fall Break

This is the third year I've attempted Nanowrimo. I've never broken 4500 words. It's about a week and a half or so left 'til the end of November, and I only have 1845 words as of this moment. The goal is to have 50,000.

I think I knew by November 3, two days into working on my novel, that there was no way I'd finish before the end of November. What with major projects and quizzes to prepare for, and an essay for nonfiction, another for the same class to revise, and a literary analysis for my French lit class--in French--to write, I knew I'd be hard-pressed to get it done. There wouldn't be a lot of time to work with.

I'm not upset about it; well, maybe a little sad that I would have to wait yet another year until I had a little more time during the month of November to complete it. But that's reality.

I'm hoping to find a little time to work on it this week of break. Drawing stuff (something I've struggled a lot with this semester) will have to come first. I expect that I'll only have the chance to get about 2000 more words written before the end of the month. Whatever I don't finish, I will get done before the start of next semester.

I know people have written about Nanowrimo many times before, so excuse my possibly cliched ramblings for a moment. Writing a novel in 30 days is difficult, let alone writing one at all. There's so much planning and commitment that goes along with it. But I'm glad the challenge is there, because it's much easier to make excuses than to motivate yourself with the daunting challenge of 50,000 words is ahead of you. It's a boost to creativity, and I really appreciate what it does, and can do.

Anyway, I've been home since Saturday. So far I have:

  • Watched all but two episodes of American Horror Story right before bedtime, which is a really terrible idea on my part because it scares the bejeebers outta me. I've had really messed up dreams for the last two nights. (I don't do well with horror, period. And yet I subject myself to what people are calling the scariest show on TV.)
  • Started on my homework and my laundry. 
  • Proceeded to sleep in past 11am every day since Saturday (which is not good, since I really need to keep up with a normal sleep schedule.)
  • Talked with Dad about Snape and other various book-to-movie topics while watching DH Part 2.
  • Watched the amazing extras on the second disc of Part 2. As soon as finals are over, I think I'm probably going to watch the conversation with J.K. Rowling and Daniel Radcliffe over and over again until I have it memorized. It's so intriguing...
  • Went to see Breaking Dawn with my mom, who told me she was glad she didn't fall asleep during the movie. 
  • Caught up on New Girl, which is a hilarious show. I can't stop giggling while watching an episode. 
  • Watched Casper with my parents. 
  • Went about my business, walking around the house with my cat Naomi at my heels. She follows me everywhere, it seems. Not that I'm complaining. I missed her dearly. 

Sunday, November 20, 2011

The Issue with "Breaking Dawn"

So I just got back from seeing The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 with Mom. I have many thoughts.

First, though, a little background/disclaimer.

I did not want them to make Breaking Dawn into two movies. I thought it was a foolish idea, and that the decision itself was purely for the purposes of making more money, and not necessarily for the sake of the story itself. I was convinced putting it into two parts would ruin it, would make it into some kind of joke, and I didn't want that at all. This is my problem, though: I honestly feel that BD does not have a story that can carry out through two parts. Not that the story is bad--because it certainly isn't. I just feel that BD's story is not complex enough to warrant two parts. Like in Eclipse, there is a heckuvah lot of wait time in BD. Don't get me wrong--I love the book. I love its quirks, I love the way the plot is structured overall (albeit how effing weird some parts are), and it's a lovely close to an entertaining and unique-ish romance. My dearest wish was that they'd treat it like they did with Eclipse and cut down on the annoying let's-sit-here-and-talk-while-we-wait time (leading to a battle that does not really take place, in all honesty) and make it into a cohesive, exciting story for film. The wait time won't work cinematically, and I was not sure they could achieve that with BD if they made it into two parts. Needless to say, I was incredibly miffed when they announced it would split. They would have to prove to me that the decision was worth it.

Now that that's out of the way, on to the first part itself. (I should also clarify that it has been awhile since I read the book, so please pardon me if I misremember anything. I really should reread it soon, especially for part 2...)  Major spoiler warning.

After finally seeing Part 1, I still don't know how to feel about it. I'm interested in the idea that this part focused on the "conflict" with the Quileutes, while the brief scene we get during the credits suggests that the overlying conflict in part 2 will be with the Volturi. This, I thought, was a good decision, but even then, the conflict was mostly driven by Jacob: the wolves were fine, and then they were angry, and then Jacob left, and they were angry with him in addition to the Cullens....I couldn't remember when Jacob takes official position as Alpha, and I spent much of the last half of the movie wondering when it was going to happen. (When does it happen?) I wasn't sure what to do with it all, though, and I couldn't remember enough from when I read the book to be sure either way. I was pleased, however, to see that they hadn't seemed to divide the point of view between Bella and Jacob. The scenes in La Push and those in Forks seemed cohesive and flowed really well with one another. I did, however, miss Leah explaining her perspective from being the only girl in the pack, but I wonder if they're going to address that in part 2.

I was very pleased with the first half of the movie. The wedding and honeymoon were beautifully done, and I really found myself caught up in it. I cracked up during the speech montage at the wedding (Emmett's and Jessica's were my favorites), and I adored the post-coitus montage during the honeymoon. I thought Bella's attempts to seduce Edward were funny, and they felt very Bella-like to me. It was also really cool to see them doing things: swimming, hiking, playing chess (though I did roll my eyes a little). I really felt their love and adoration for one another. One of my favorite sequences is when Bella realizes she may be preggers, from when she makes the chicken to when she calls Rosalie for help. I felt there was a lot of tension during this sequence, and I got chills watching the scene where Edward asks the woman who comes to clean about what she knows regarding what's happening to Bella.

I also really liked the scene where Edward and Bella are discussing the possibilities if Bella does die--which seems likely at that point in the movie--and Edward's outburst. This scene/sub plot was really well handled with the perfect amount of tension. Edward's anguish was palpable: he was facing the possibility of losing his reason for living, and no matter what Bella said--nor the responsibility of taking care of their unborn child--could make up for the fact that he knows he couldn't handle losing her. I thought this scene was a nice parallel, of sorts, to the scene in which Edward hears the baby's thoughts. Beautifully done, and I really felt the emotion the scene was carrying. (What can I say? I ship Edward/Bella forever and ever.)

I hated the wolf-telepathy part, as well as how they handled Jacob's imprint. The wolf-telepathy is something I can understand being very difficult to translate without it seeming campy. But it really was. I sat there for its duration feeling embarrassment for the first time ever watching a Twilight movie. It was too much. I almost wish the pack was in their human form for that scene, thought admittedly it would have taken away from the importance of Jacob declaring his independence/authority in the pack and the significance of it taking place when he's in wolf form. As for the imprint, I don't think it had the oomph it needed. Again, I understand the difficulty of translating it in a way that makes sense onscreen, but the montage didn't do it for me. I didn't feel like Jacob's whole world had shifted. All in all, it was an incredible disappointment.*

I don't know how I feel about the inside-the-body montages. It definitely warrants a second viewing. I did like how you see a snippet of almost-dead-Bella in pain followed by a shot of her lying there, calm and internalizing the agony. The birth scene in general is something I'm undecided on; I LOVED the tension and emotion when Edward is trying to save her, and I could really feel Jacob's misery when he believes her to be dead. But wasn't Carlisle supposed to be there? Or am I remembering incorrectly?

They ended about where I thought they would--I feel like there wasn't a lot of surprise in regards to the split point, to be honest. It's been awhile since I've read the book, but I could see some of the logic in ending it right after Renesme is born. I was surprised, however, that they went as far as to show the moment right as Bella finishes transforming. I thought they'd save that for part 2, but the more I think about it, the more I like the idea of leaving that as a cliffhanger. It holds a lot of tension and mystery.

Ultimately, I feel like I can't really have an opinion about this movie until I've seen part 2. I still feel like there's not going to be enough genuine plot to make it work as a movie in itself. We have yet to see the other awesome vampires from around the world (including Garrett *fist pump*), see Bella kick some major ass as the badass vampire she is (including when she gets angry with Jacob for being annoying about calling her daughter "Nessie"), and (hopefully) see her go talk to the man who makes the fake i.d.'s (though this scene is arguably unnecessary). But then there's the fact that this huge battle they're expecting to fight doesn't actually happen (and the last half of the book builds and builds and the tension is never really dealt with). And then, of course, Alice disappears for a disconcerting amount of time, which kills me (Alice is one of my favorite characters). And honestly? Most of these little things happen AS THEY ARE WAITING FOR THIS BATTLE THAT NEVER HAPPENS. I feel like they really need to beef it up or something; make it so that it won't leave the audience feeling unsatisfied plot-wise. They need to be wise about splitting it up. I mean, I suppose Part 1 works....to an extent. But as of right now? I do not yet understand why the split had to be made.

Some points of interest:

  • The dream Bella has of her and Edward in their wedding garb standing on the pile of their loved ones, drained and deceased, was particularly chilling to me. I couldn't remember if that was something she'd dreamed in the book, but I loved it all the same. Nicely done. I approve. 
  • I LOVED the wedding speech montage, especially Emmett's recommendation for Bella to get plenty of sleep now when she still can. Geddit? Because, you know, Bella's going to become a vampire, and she and Edward will be breaking headboards every chance they get. I appreciated the pause there, too, as the double meaning of what he was saying sunk in. I laughed so hard. Emmett is awesome. 
  • Seth Clearwater really bothered me in Eclipse. This time, however, I grew to love him. I don't know what he did this time around, but I really, really felt for the kid watching this movie. 
  • Rene and Charlie reacting to the graduation cap artwork = GENIUS and hilarious, as well as a nice throw-back to the first film. 
  • I missed Bella's strong reaction to realizing she'd probably never see her mother again. I didn't feel that panic at all as I did in the book. 
  • I did enjoy most of the montages throughout the movie, especially the pre-act Nervous Bella (Kristen Stewart did a really nice job with this; I felt it was very much Book Bella on screen). The look on her face when she finds what lingerie Alice had packed for her is perfect (and incredibly hilarious). I also really like Bella's life-flashing-before-her-life montage. 
  • I did like the Edward-as-a-killer-in-the-teens-and-twenties flashback. Nicely done. 
  • Bella looked disconcertingly emaciated. Oddly enough, I was really pleased with that detail even though it was really difficult looking at her in that state. Great effects.
  • I did not care for the effects with the wolves during the "fight" at the end. I thought they looked incredibly sloppy. The wolves were fine throughout the rest of the movie, though. (I know, it's weird, but I don't know how to explain it.)
  • I was really uncomfortable watching the scene in which Bella drinks the blood. This isn't unusual: I felt the exact same way when reading that in the book. Also interesting to note: Edward puts the blood into a styrofoam cup, not unlike the one I had been drinking from during the movie, though mine was filled with Mt. Dew instead of blood. 
  • What was up with Jasper's hair?? Why do they feel like they have to change it every movie?
  • I liked seeing the Denali clan at the wedding. I do admit, though, that I don't remember Edward mentioning them in the previous movies, so I wondered if those who hadn't read the books were confused. 
  • Alice is perfection in every scene she's in. I LOVED her directing everyone when they're decorating, as well as her having Bella practice in heels. I also loved the scene in which she and Rosalie help Bella with her hair and makeup. 
  • The honeymoon scene was lovely. I have no criticisms whatsoever. 
  • Jasper and Alice swing dancing during the reception was unexpected but so, so perfect. I ship them so hard, it's ridiculous. 
  • Bella's dress was GORGEOUS. Holy schmokes, was it beautiful. 
  • I love the moment at the wedding right after the vows where Bella and Edward kiss and it's like there's no one else there. Call me a hopeless romantic, but I thought it was a beautiful shot. 
  • Can we talk about how hilarious and awesome Emmett and Jasper are when they are waiting for Edward before the bachelor party? 
  • I think the only wolf pack scene that worked for me was the one where they're sitting on the beach talking, and the members who have not yet imprinted are watching the others with resentment and such. 
  • Jacob didn't piss me off this time around as he did in the third film. I especially love the scenes where Edward asks him to talk to Bella and the one where he does go talk to her about considering, essentially, an abortion. Really great acting in both, from all involved. 
  • I'm not quite sure this film has established the significance of why Rosalie would be the one on Bella's side. I did like, though, how Rosalie was adamant about referring to Renesmee as "the baby," as opposed to "that thing" or "the fetus."
  • I'm curious as to how they're going to handle Renesmee. I didn't know how to feel about what we saw of her as Jacob was imprinting. Also, I thought I saw teeth on the baby, but I could have been imagining it. Related: I didn't know how to handle the part when she bites Bella, and then Edward takes her away....I just don't know. It's all so jumbled to me. I felt that way when reading the book, too, but something about the way it was handled in the movie....
*throws up hands* I just don't know. I really don't. 

*I have mixed feelings about the imprint in the book; I feel very cheated as a reader in general that Jacob imprinted on Renesme because to me, it seems to negate the relationship that had been built so carefully between Bella and Jacob in the three books previous. It was like the relationship hadn't ever meant anything in the first place, but perhaps that's the peculiar thing about imprinting (see Leah and Sam's destroyed relationship). 

Sunday, October 30, 2011

The Days Before Halloween: Photo Album

My sister came to visit this weekend. Along with celebrating her birthday, we also went to see Rocky Horror at the Union.

And thus, the photo-album.






Most of the pictures I took at the pre-show turned out really blurry. No matter, however. Just being there, dancing the Time Warp and getting showered in flying toast and rice is enough. It is, after all, nothing without the audience participation. 

Our costumes for the 'Ville:






Such a great weekend. I need more weekends like it. They're good for the soul. 

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Imogen Heap, "Lifeline"


I've been poking around, looking for options for a project we're working on for Drawing III, which involves us compiling a list of our various formal and conceptual influences as artists. I came across this amazing, beautiful song and the accompanying video in my search for "new" non-artist influences. 

I absolutely adore Imogen Heap. She is an incredible, all-around poet, artist, and musician, and I can't help myself but get caught up in each of her songs. This song is no different. I cannot wait until this album comes out. Goodness me, is it good....I just wish I'd known about it before today. 

*adds it to list of inspirations for any kind of creative block*

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds

My earliest memory of my sister, Heidi, involves a little orange jumpsuit with a matching bib decorated with a smiling, glowing pumpkin. She was just days old, and Mom had dressed her up as a pumpkin baby. This first memory is of Mom putting her into the car seat after church; perhaps Halloween was on a Sunday that year? I was too young. I cannot remember much beyond that; I was two and a half when she was born, and so I feel very lucky to remember that kind of a detail alone.

Heidi is a Halloween baby. She wasn't born on Halloween, though: just a few days before. Last weekend, when she and I were watching Hocus Pocus, one of her favorite movies, we talked about how this made sense with her obsession with horror movies. She's been trying to get me to watch every scary movie under the sun in the last few months especially.

But I digress.

Today is Heidi's 21st birthday. I've been very emotional the last few days thinking about it. It's not a bad thing; I've just been thinking a lot about everything that we've been through together. She's my best friend. We didn't get along too well as kids--well, we did, but we fought a lot, as siblings are prone to do--but then something clicked and we slowly became best friends. She is the most wonderful, kindhearted people I know, and I'm so proud to call her my sister.

One of Heidi's favorite songs when she was little was "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds." There is a line within the song that goes: "Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile/The girl with kaleidoscope eyes." She latched onto this idea of a 'turnstile' despite her misunderstanding of what it actually was: she named the final turn before the highway that leads directly into our hometown on our way back from visiting family in Nebraska the 'turnstile'. I remember her getting it confused, however. She called it "the turndial."


She and Dad would mention on it almost every time. "It's the turndial! It's the turndial!" she would cry, if Dad hadn't brought it up first. 


I think she is Lucy. It may be odd to say so, it may be cliche, but I don't care, because I feel she really is, in so many ways. It was like the song is written for her, because it captures her essence so purely. Her creativity, her capacity to love, her steadfastness, and every beautiful fiber of her being. Looking on it now, I believe that whole-heartedly. The girl with kaleidoscope eyes, indeed. 


And so, Heidi, you have reached another turndial. Happy, happy 21st birthday, Hootie! I love you. <3

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Home Again

My weekends at home are much too short, and I have noticed each visit seems to get shorter and shorter.

Anyway.

Fall is my favorite season. There is a small maple tree in the yard, and one of the best things about fall is watching its leaves turn from green to yellow and orange to a rich red-orange. I missed the turning this year; most of the leaves have fallen from the branches, and the red-orange on most of the remaining leaves has faded to a gorgeous burnt orange color.

I missed homecoming for the first time in years this year, and I can't decide whether I'm upset or not. At the moment, it's an ache that I can't really put my finger on. I love homecoming; it was and will forever be part of my favorite memories of growing up in my hometown.

Heidi's birthday is this coming week, so my family and I have been having a sort of mini-celebration for her. She's been home since last Monday for her fall break. After the having survived this horrible week, I wish I'd been able to have my fall break at the same time.

As is the tradition for being home, we've watched a Harry Potter movie (two this time around, both Prisoner of Azkaban and Order of the Phoenix on Heidi's request as she is the Birthday Girl). Heidi and I went to see the Footloose remake last night at the Astro 3, and despite the fact that there was a country remake of the title song during the last scene of the movie, we were both pleased and genuinely entertained. It was very good, and I'd definitely see it again.

After the movie, Heidi and I went cruising to talk and listen to music. Conversation is a beautiful thing, and those I have with Heidi are some of my most treasured.

I'm not looking forward to having to return to the Little Apple tomorrow; not that I hate it, because I don't. I just need more time here. I haven't been home much since the beginning of the year. In the last 24 hours alone, I've felt more calm, laughed more genuinely, and had more of a focus on life than I've had in ages. Thanksgiving break cannot come soon enough.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Little Known Fact #3

I am extremely self-concious about many things: my writing, my drawings, my "cartoon fingers" (as one of my best friends once affectionately called them), my social skills, etc. The thing I am most self-concious about, however, is my chubbiness and my weight.

When my grandparents (Dad's parents) were still alive and we would make our annual trip up to Michigan, there was one summer in which some local boys would come to the park just across the block from my grandparents' house and harass my sister and I. They yelled, "Chunk-EE, Chunky Soup!" at me. I had never met them before, and we were only ever in Michigan for a week or two each year.

There was at least one girl in my class in Junior High who consistently referred to me as "Heifer". Up until that time, I had been called "fat" or "fatso."

Almost every time I go shopping for clothes, some kind of disaster arises.

When I was in second grade, I really, really wanted to become a gymnast (as the Olympics were being held in Atlanta, GA that year). Mom had found a simple body suit-type thing that resembled a gymnastic unitard for me, and I was so thrilled to have something to practice my "sweet routines" in. I was so excited about this outfit that I put it on and ran down to our-neighbors'-down-the-block's house to show Audrey, the oldest girl of the family and the one I remember wanting to impress the most. She was sitting on the stoop of another neighbor's house with Amy, who was in high school. When I ran up to them, Audrey looked up at me, and burst out laughing.

"What?" I asked shyly, my face falling. "What's so funny?"

She doubled up even more, her blond ringlets framing her face. "Nothing--" she tried catching her breath--"The dog peed." I don't remember how Amy reacted. She seems to fade into the memory.

I think I knew in that moment that Audrey was lying.

When I walked into my boss's office earlier this evening to get a band-aid for my thumb, and stood there talking with her and one of my coworkers, my boss turned to me.

"Heather, you were doing so good on that diet you were on last year. You should get back on it. You were loosing all that weight..."

I clammed up and busied myself with trying to get the finger cot I'd pulled out of the first aid kit over the band-aid and the rest of my thumb.

"Is that a touchy subject?" she asked.

I sighed. "Yeah..."

She may not have meant it the way I took it. I don't know. My reaction, however, was truth: this single interchange and the little discussion that followed it made me want to curl up in a distant corner and cry.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

A Few Brief Thoughts on Learning

The reading we were discussing in French Lit today included a couple essays from the French essayist Montaigne. The excerpts we had to read discussed the concept of death from Montaigne's point of view. Back at the beginning of the semester in my non-fiction class, we talked a little about Montaigne as one of the earliest essayists (in the traditional sense of non-fiction, anyway) in history. He's well known, and his writing is highly regarded.

When we talked about him in Adv. Non-Fiction, we discussed how the word "essay" derives from the French "essayer," which means "to try" or "to attempt". Essays, therefore, are one means for the writer to make an attempt to make sense of the world in relation to their own viewpoint; it can also be a kind of attempt to make a point (as in an essay supporting and promoting a certain argument).

Today, we talked a little about the origins of "essais," the French for essays. Again, "essayer" is the word from which it derives. 

For some reason, when my professor asked us what it meant in English, and we answered "to attempt," I had a moment of clarity. Essays are attempts. An attempt. I knew I made the connection back at the beginning of the semester, but it seemed to finally click, and the connection between these two things, French literature from the Renaissance and the art of writing non-fiction (essays in particular), solidified itself within my mind. True to the humanistic spirit of the Renaissance, Montaigne's essays explore and exemplify the idea of individual thought. 

I've been fascinated with the idea of coming to some sort of understanding through the act of writing, particularly how memory can assist with that in addition to the intriguing idea of a kind of fallible  memory. (This, of course, is thanks to the amazing Non-Fiction writing class I'm currently in.) Memoirs, for instance, are reflections upon an event or more that may be connected in some way. These reflections attempt to make sense of who we are as human beings, as individuals, as one small part of the collective human race. There is so much freedom in this: non-fiction (including the memoir) can be anything, explore anything. Montaigne is trying to come to an understanding of his own views on death in relation to the viewpoints from various philosophers of and before his time.

Understanding. Attempting to understand, to make these connections in what we know, what we remember, and what we may not know. 

I have random moments similar to this fairly often. I will be sitting in lecture, and something--or everything--will suddenly click. Perhaps there is an overlap, or even repetition in the information. Perhaps it is also an honest interest in what we're learning. I love those grand moments of understanding. Little by little, the world starts to make a bit more sense. Perhaps this is what my answers to the Sorting questions on Pottermore indicated when I was officially sorted into Ravenclaw.* Maybe, maybe not. 

I think it simply comes down to learning and how this (an many other kinds of learning) continues. Our minds, as well as our capacity and desire to gain knowledge, is an intriguing thing. 


*I explain more on this (and other thoughts on Pottermore) later; I'm still in shock. But a good kind of shot. It's hard to wrap my mind around it...

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Quick Thoughts, Glee 3x03, "Asian F"

More later, I promise, once I can seriously sit down and write my yay/nays for the first three eps, but her are some quick thoughts until then...

Spoilers ahoy!


  • Emma's parents and their "ginger supremacist" attitudes? OMG. 
  • Mercedes: I can understand....to a certain extent. But her attitude and the way she's going about stuff? I'm undecided as of yet....but I think she needs to calm down and eat some fruit. 
  • That being said, Amber Riley was INCREDIBLE this week. She's amazing. I got chills during "It's All Over". <3
  • ...And I am STOKED that we're seeing Mercedes-centered storylines. *happy dance*
  • RACHEL!!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYYYY?! *cries*
  • Kurt and Blaine = tugging at my heartstrings and warm fuzzies every time.
  • I LOVE LOVE LOVE how it was Kurt giving Blaine the flowers. 
  • MIKECHANGMIKECHANGMIKECHANG. Why hasn't he gotten a solid storyline before now? He is quite the double threat. And that scene with his mother....
  • THE RETURN OF VAMPIRE TINA!!!! :D 
  • Coach Beiste. I think I love her more and more each time we see her. 
  • Brittany. Oh my goodness, Brittany. 
Now back to homework. 

Friday, September 30, 2011

MTV Visits the Set of "Perks"

And there is a video. And interviews. And behind the scenes of graduation and a dance (homecoming?). Sam and Patrick? Amazing. I haven't seen the actor who plays Patrick in anything, but from just seeing this little bit as well as the interview, I love him as Patrick already. "Come On Eileen". And LOGAN FREAKIN' LERMAN. The cast so far seems so perfect. I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS MOVIE.

Many, many warm fuzzies. And excitement. And love. It's going to be incredible. <3

(Thanks to The Leaky Cauldron for the heads up!)

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Banned Books Week Goodness

Happy Banned Books Week! I always look forward to BBW; I get warm fuzzies around this time of year, not only because of our freedom to read but in the sheer amount of books and stories that we have at our fingertips. It's such a wonderful thing, to have the right to choose. And really, that's what this week is about. We can make the decision for ourselves.

First, FYA continues to promote awesome by poking fun at censorship. I love them so much. They are amazing. Also, this from The Literary Snob (who also reblogged this amazing post earlier this week).

Throughout the week, there have been readings and panels and other such awesomeness celebrating reading. I read from The Perks of Being a Wallflower at the Union earlier this week (the scene when Sam is up in the truck bed as they're going through the Fort Pitt Tunnel, my favorite part).

The ALA has posted many lists of challenged and banned books, including those most frequently challenged in the '90sthe 2000s, as well as by year (here's the list for 2010). If you're interested, poke around a bit. They have some really great resources and bits of information.

My Top Five Favorite Banned/Challenged Books

  1. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson: This was one of the first books I fell for once I came to the realization of how awesome reading was (and more than just a means to get A.R. points). 
  2. The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
  3. The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling: <3
  4. To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee
  5. Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging by Louise Rennison: ...and the rest of the series that followed this amazing and hilarious novel.



There are more, as always. Reading is wonderful. <3 What are your favorites?

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Brittany's New Duds

So this picture, along with a couple other new images from next week's episode, popped up on Glee Fans Live yesterday, if I remember correctly. 


Oh. My. Word. DYING. I have no idea what the context of this scene is, but I CANNOT WAIT to find out. (I'll have the Yay/Nay up for this weeks episode as soon as I can; I just need to sit down to write it. It was amazing though...season 3 is going to RULE.) <3


Monday, September 19, 2011

Glee Season 3 Wishlist



So, Glee starts back up tomorrow. Hooray! I was going to do a normal post on this (i.e. with regular paragraphs and some sort of overall flow), but realized there was just too much I wanted to say about a LOT of different things, so I opted instead for bullet points.

So yeah. Here is a collection of thoughts regarding Glee's upcoming third season. Plus a few other related things--some of which I'm merely wishing for.

The Song Wishlist (Or, Songs I Wish They'd Do At Some Point. Please. Because, seriously.)

  • "Don't Speak" by No Doubt. I have mixed feelings about this one; it is one of my all-time favorites, and I think it could be done so very well on the show (and, if it fits with what they want to do with the plot/characters, it could be really powerful). I don't know who I'd want to sing it. I don't know how I'd feel about someone other than Gwen Stefani singing it. But I'm hoping. 
  • "Ordinary World" by Duran Duran. Though I really want them to do this particular song, I'd be okay with anything from Duran Duran. And wasn't it Kurt who suggested "Rio" at one point? 
  • "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)" by Eurythmics. I only have one request with this: either Tina or Kurt (OR BOTH) should be the one to sing it. Either them or the GP's Samuel as his character. 
  • "Uncharted" by Sara Bareilles. They haven't done anything of hers yet on the show, and I'd really be interested to see how they pull it off. Plus, it's an inspirational masterpiece. 
  • "Hide and Seek" by Imogen Heap. I don't think ANY remake of this one will ever live up to the original...but I think Glee could produce a decent--an interesting--take on it. 
  • Any song by The Beach Boys. I want to see the Glee guys in five-part harmony. Stat. 
  • "Wonderwall" by Oasis. (Related: More '80s and '90s music in general. Like much of Season 1. You know?)
  • Anything by the Goo Goo Dolls. Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease. With a cherry on top.
There are more, but I'm truly more interested to see what they choose and how it relates to the story. After all, the heart of the show lies within the story. The music just enhances it.

Everything Else


I know that there have been a lot of rumors and spoilers that have been floating around (most of which I am aware) but I am going to try not to address them because we will find out soon enough whether they're true or not. The following, therefore, is a list of things I hope they'll at least address based off of my thoughts concerns the previous two seasons....especially Season 2. If any spoilers appear below, I will let you know.

  • If Crazy Mr. Schue--you know, the one that was present for the first third of Season 2--reappears with more crazy, I will seriously slushie my television. It is such an exaggeration of his character. It didn't feel right to me. Honestly, I have gotten to point in which I'm not that interested in what's happening with him BECAUSE of his stint on said Crazy Train.
  • More voiceovers, because I felt that Season 2 didn't have it enough--and I adore the voiceovers. Specifically: Blaine, Mercedes, Artie, and Brittany. Also? Please more flashbacks. My feelings are almost identical. 
  • Quinn needs another strong (or stable, at least) storyline. She felt all over the place in s2, bouncing from football player to football player, angry only over prom (or SEEMINGLY, anyway). 
  • Mercedes. Needs. Storylines. Good ones that go beyond the mostly positive storyline she had in 1x16, "Home." In my opinion, she was unfairly forgotten in Season 2 (though there were a few nice moments she was able to claim her own, "few" being the key word, here). 
  • Lauren Zizes needs to stick around. She's too brilliant of a character to get rid of entirely. Please, Glee writers, keep her in any way you can.
  • (Slight) Spoiler #1: I'm super, super stoked that they're focusing more on character development and story in Season 3. I think Season 2 struggled with this here and there throughout--though once they'd found a plot trajectory, they really pulled out all the stops and rocked it. One thing I really appreciate more and more about the finale of s2 is the hanging question/realization of graduation. I  cannot wait to see this played out; there is so much possibility suggested with the episode's musings on the future for the writers to explore. 
  • Slight Spoiler #2: I want the GP winners' roles to be worth it. I have a feeling that Damian's is going to rule (SOOOOO EXCITED TO SEE HIM ON THE SHOW). I am curious as to Samuel's role; I'm still not sure how I feel about him, but I'm really intrigued to see what the writers do, and most especially because of my current feelings concerning him. I hope that Alex's and Lindsay's roles are good as well. While I'm not the greatest fan of Lindsay, I do hope that she does well. As for Alex, I'm just so happy he will be able to have a role, however small it it (and I'm interested to see if it involves drag). He is such and incredible performer. 
  • Please no crazy antics/side plots like premature promise rings and inappropriate/uncomfortable encounters in the library (see most of Jacob's purpose for being in "Britney/Brittany") and getting married in Vegas on a whim. *headdesk* We've dealt with the terrible twos, so let's move on to bigger, better, and more believable sub-plots. And in the process, we'll hopefully avoid any train wrecks like that of 2x9 "Special Education."
  • I'm really excited to see what happens with Santana and Karofsky this season. I am also very interested in the possibility of Blaine dealing with being a part of a glee club other than the Warblers (and whatever "complications" may ensue).
  • More "Fondue for Two." Especially since we've lost our chance for any more Sam impersonations (I pine, Reality. I pine for those impersonations.)
There will always be more. But now, sleep.  

Saturday, September 17, 2011

More Star Wars Goodness

Heidi sent me a link to this amazing thing that happened in conjunction with the release of Star Wars on Blu-ray. Severe geeking out ensued (and not just because it took place in London, which in itself is enough to make me all warm and fuzzy inside). Be sure to keep an eye out for Boba Fett and R2. Because, you know, they're awesome. 

There is a very special place in my heart that is reserved for Star Wars. It's one of the first things I fell passionately in love with. 

Friday, September 16, 2011

Hoarding #1, Additions

I am an incredible pack rat, but (I hope) not entirely of useless things. When I shop--which, honestly, is not that often--it's typically for books, movies, or music; shopping for clothes usually depresses me beyond words and I'm not much of a have-a-lot-of-shoes kind of gal. I buy music (on CD) like it's candy, and I have been known to scour discount bins for gold nuggets whenever I get the chance. My bookshelves are seriously overflowing, as are the shelving units that are currently stuffed with my movies.

Some of what I've acquired recently:



Alisha and I went to Wal-Mart today just to look around. We roamed through the toy aisles, pushing buttons and picking stuff up. At one point, we even had the cliche lightsaber battle in one of the aisles. And I found this. 



I bought Season 2 on Tuesday (hooray!). Alisha found the folders and gave me a couple. School supplies are always welcome. As is Glee, one of the best pick-me-ups out there. 


These are the last books I will ever buy from Borders/Waldenbooks. When we walked in the local Waldenbooks a week ago, it was incredibly barren. They'd roped off half the store, and there were few books left in most of the genres. I walked around the store twice scouring their limited selection before I decided on these. It was much more emotional than I thought it would be; I am devastated Borders is closing, and I can't even begin to imagine what the future will bring to bookstores themselves. 


There is a Hastings in town, and I really like scouring what they have overall to see if there's anything that catches my eye. Cue these used books, which I was able to pick up for a decent price. I really like the different kind of selection Hastings provides; it gives a nice balance to the kind of selection the Dusty Bookshelf (our local used book store) and Waldenbooks had, at least until the recent going-out-of-business sale. I absolutely adore Maureen Johnson (her book, The Bermudez Triangle, is one I highly recommend), and I've read a book or two by Carolyn Mackler in high school and enjoyed them. I can't remember for sure if Vegan Virgin Valentine was one of them or not, but I know I at least knew about it, so I thought it would be worth it. 


On the same day as our lightsaber-wielding Wal-Mart trip, I found this Snoopy coloring book. It called to me. Thus, I bought a box of crayons for the first time in years.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

"Growing Up With Harry Potter"

The Leaky Cauldron has posted a link to a clip from the Ultimate Edition of Deathly Hallows Part 1.

And it is beautiful. The realization of both how much they've all grown and how long it has been--ten years, or just over--is overwhelming. It's fascinating seeing the three of them talking about that first press conference juxtaposed with clips from the actual press conference. (And they're all so adorable! I couldn't stop giggling over Rupert Grint's response to the question about spending money.)

This part of the "Creating the World of Harry Potter" is going to be amazing. I can't wait. <3

(Slightly related: I'm still waiting for my Pottermore Welcome email. I have a feeling I won't actually get it until right before the start of October....Alisha's been on for about a week, and I have to restrain myself from asking her question after question about it. I'm so excited for it, though. Amazing.)

It Was a Tuesday

At least, I think it was a Tuesday. I was in eighth grade, and was sitting in second hour, Advanced English.

Mrs. Bower, the gifted teacher, was in the room preparing things for the days' lesson; she came every Tuesday in class to do different activities with us. Sometimes we did projects, sometimes stories with holes, sometimes different writing assignments aside from what Mrs. Anderson was having us do. I don't remember what she had planned for that day.

Shortly after class had started, Mr. Young, the American History teacher for in the high school (the junior high was connected to the high school) popped his head into the room.

"Some idiot just ran a plane into the World Trade Center," he told Mrs. Bower and Mrs. Anderson.

Channel One, a news program we watched every day at the beginning of second hour, didn't have any news that day about the WTC. I knew it was because it was taped before anything actually happened in New York City. It wasn't until the next day that we saw anything related to the tragedy.

We watched the news in almost every class for the rest of the day. Mr. Thexton, my Earth Science teacher, snapped at our class when some of us weren't paying attention to what we were seeing on screen. Some people in my classes joked a little about it. I remember being horrified when I saw images of people running away from a train of billowing smoke down the street. And it continued to get worse, and I wondered this real thing that was actually happening would never end. That kind of thing only happened in movies.

At lunch, the teachers had set up a television on a rolling cart in the cafeteria and had turned on the news.   I sat at a round table close to where the t.v. set was, watching and trying to process what was happening as I waited for the rest of the group I sat with to arrive. Tessa and Leanne came, talking.

Bethany, one girl who I used to call my best friend (and I seemed to go through a lot of them), was one of the last of us to sit down. She walked up to the table in a mild rage, her feet attached to some invisible engine propelling her forward. She slammed her tray down, and looked at us all before taking her seat.

"I can't believe it," she said, her tone serious and tinged with snark. "I was going to visit the World Trade Center some day and now I can't even go because someone knocked it down."

I sat there, shocked. Was she really going to make this all about her? Did she not realize what had happened? How many lives were lost, from the employees inside the building to the people on the planes and then those who tried to save them? How many families were affected, including, as I would find out later that day, a distant cousin on my mom's side and his two daughters, who were much to young to fully grasp what had happened, who had lost a wife and mother that morning?

This was much bigger than that. It affected all of us.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

A Two-Parter Ramble

I'm going to borrow a segue technique from John and Hank Green, the Vlogbrothers, who happen to be my favorite YouTube people (and the only ones I regularly watch). So, without further ado, this post comes in two parts.

Part One: Being Home


Last weekend was the first weekend since June that I was able to spend more than just 24 hours with my family. Heidi and I coordinated our visit so we'd have a weekend where all four of us (Heidi, Mom, Dad, and I) were in the same house. It was far too short of a weekend.

I'll be honest: I did not get a lot of homework done when I was home. For some reason, my motivation shuts off whenever I'm there, as if every visit is a vacation for me. The only thing I actually accomplished was watching online lectures for Art History, which I made my sister watch with me. She spent the entirety of them playing with Naomi, one of our cats, and playing on the Facebook Sims.

Regardless, the weekend was wonderful. Heidi and I watched a TON of movies:

  • Wild Target, with Bill Nighy, Emily Blunt, and Rupert Grint. This movie is HILARIOUS. There's just something magical about British comedy that American comedy has a hard time living up to for me. Perhaps that's too cruel for me to say, but I really believe that. Now I just need to hunt down a copy for myself....
  • Take Me Home Tonight with Topher Grace, Anna Faris, and Teresa Palmer. The movie was pretty funny, and I liked the touches of '80s culture included. Two things, though: first, I'm not a big fan of Dan Fogler (see above for a watered-down version of my thoughts on American comedy). Second, while I really appreciate what the movie's simple plot was trying to accomplish, I felt that Adventureland, which focuses on a similar kind of post-college state of wandering, was much more successful--and thorough in the journey of the protagonist--in conveying it. The holes in characters and the plot irritated me to no end. Overall, though, it was fun. I thought Topher Grace and Anna Faris topped themselves. 
  • Jane Eyre, with Mia Wasikowska and Michael Fassbender. LOVE. I would cross oceans for this movie. No joke. 
  • Crazy, Stupid, Love., with Steve Carrell and Julianne Moore. There were plenty of romantic comedy cliches, cheesy writing, and an almost completely predictable outcome for the characters. It was, however, very funny, and surprising at times. I loved Robbie, the son ("I love you. Please."); Jessica, the babysitter (her characterization/subplot was amazing); Hannah and Jacob's relationship (so funny and so tender, and it helps that I love both Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling). Little surprises all around. Plus, Josh Groban makes an appearance. 


The four of us took a mini-daytrip to Beatrice, where we scoured the $5 bin at Wal-Mart and returned with a large stack of bargain CDs between us. I met up with Maggie on Sunday for dinner to catch up with her and Emi, who's eyes are still as big and happy as they were when I saw her last at the end of May. She is adorable and I feel incredibly proud to be her godmother. Meanwhile, I joked around and talked music with Dad, spent time with Mom, filling her in on classes and such. Heidi and I cruised twice around town, blaring music from our iPods and pouring out our hearts about the things in our lives that were simultaneously important and heartbreaking in some form or another. There's something incredibly therapeutic about sharing this with my sister. I remember when Dad and his brother Rod would go cruising when we were little; there was a reason we were never allowed to join them--that was their time to share. Nothing but music, conversation, and honest heart-pouring. Those moments are special to me, more than I can put into words.

Part Two: Two Concerns and Many Feelings


First, I grow more and more wary of the future each day. I have no idea where I'll be at this time next year (and I feel the time swiftly slipping away from me). I do want to go to graduate school, but call it laziness or being too busy, I haven't looked into anything yet. There are so many feelings that I can't yet articulate, and I know I just have to push them and the worry aside and get the ball rolling so I don't waste any time. I know it will work out in the end. I mean, I do have time, and there are a few other things I've put on my educational bucket list (more travel, a writing fellowship, etc.) that are also on the timeline. I just need to sit down, make lists, prepare applications, take the GRE, and write.


Second, I noticed something when I was at dinner with Maggie on Sunday, and it's been hanging over my head since then, amplified from what it was before. I don't remember the exact train of our conversation or what prompted me to say it, but at one point, I made an off-hand comment that was along the lines of, "Well, if and when I ever get married and have kids..." Maggie, who was in the process of trying to keep Emi occupied (she was being fussy), laughed a little and looked up at me.

"You never know; if [so-and-so] got married, anyone can." Or something like that.

I feel like sometimes I let my cynicism about marriage get out of hand. No matter how hard I try to remain neutral concerning me and marriage, I feel like I always sound so bitter about it, as if I bring it up just so I can beat it to death over and over again, which is not my intention at all. It's not that I don't believe in it--because I really, really do--but part of me honestly feels like I won't ever get married, that God does not mean me to be.

Amanda gets really mad at me when I start talking like this. "God meant for you to be a mother," she says, speaking with a firm tone and looking me directly in the eye. "You have to have confidence in yourself. He has someone for you." My argument (which I feel is just as sound) is that maybe God does not have this planned for me, that I'm meant for something different. So, shouldn't I have trust that He knows what's best for me? Everything happens for a reason.

Thing is, I haven't dated in over four years. Most people my age are at a point where they are settling down. Facebook seems to magnify a pressure that doesn't really exist that I am desperately behind the times. I'm not socially comfortable enough to be able to use whatever "flirting protocol" is required to date, and of the two guys I had some sort of more-than-friends-type feelings for, one flat-out told me he'd never date me because I reminded him too much of his ex, and the other was only at K-State for a semester and I never understood what was going on with my relationship with him, anyway. When I go out to the bars with friends, I'm the one who stands just off to the side watching as my friends get hit on and the guys in question giving me that "Who are you?" look in the few times they break eye-contact with the object of their affection.

The last time I talked with Nate about dating, he suggested online dating sites. I shot down that idea almost immediately.

My ex-boyfriend (the only one I've had) told me four years ago that I was "too perfect." I'm still not sure what that had to do with our relationship and why we ended up in the mess we did.

My heart is much too invested in this complicated thing I've found myself in. And I have to understand that in no way am I supposed to find someone at this very moment; I have all the time in the world, if that is indeed what I'm meant to have in my life. Brandi, bless her heart, encourages me to embrace my single status (as, we joke, Jason Derulo does in the song). And I try. As I try to gain and maintain the confidence Amanda has urged me to find. Sometimes, though, the feelings get too heavy. I just wish things made more sense, sometimes. I can't spend the rest of my life dwelling on these things, you know?

So when my bitterness seemed to creep into my conversation with Maggie on Sunday, I felt awful that I ruined the mood of the conversation. I did not want her to think I was rude, or against anything related to it. It was just me, feeling too much, getting caught up in them and letting some slip away, becoming entangled in it.